Here at MysteryVibe we are all about being pleasure oriented. Broaden your idea of sex and sexuality. Focus your gaze away from goal-centred, penetrative (penis in vagina) sex. Let us redefine foreplay as “coreplay”. Let us centre pleasure.
Why Is Foreplay Important?
We live in a time where the orgasm gap exists – with every 3 orgasms a man has, a woman only has 1. Heterosexual sex can be very goal-oriented towards the man ejaculating during penetrative sex, even though 80% of women in heterosexual relationships find it difficult to orgasm from penetrative sex alone. Whereas women in lesbian partnerships are climaxing the most frequently!
This is an idea that sex therapist, Ian Kerner, explores in his book “She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman”.
“Turn foreplay into coreplay.”
Sex should be experienced fully, at the height of its delight, drinking in its full incredible power & tasting every drop. Why rush?
Foreplay can help women and people with vulvas to orgasm. Being goal-oriented and trying to achieve orgasm tends to have the opposite effect. It is important to let go of the pressure.
Foreplay can aid men and people with penises to delay ejaculation, prevent the refractory period, and inevitably the release of prolactin – causing fatigue. Hence the dismay of many whose partner’s fall asleep when their pleasure is unattended to.
Coreplay can help to close the orgasm gap!
Coreplay centers pleasure and leaves goal-oriented sex as an afterthought!
What Does Foreplaying Consist Of?
From the moment of desire, you are engaging your sexual self. Try spending a lot of extra time and care on tantalising each other’s different senses.
Instead of diving straight into penetration, make touching a priority, indulge in a make-out session, dry hump, strip, suck and lick to your heart’s content!
As lesbian women seem to be climaxing the most, maybe straight men should be taking a few leaves out of their book. Oral sex is definitely advised!
This is not to say let’s forget about the penis altogether. Kerner says:
“I wrote the cunnilingus manifesto, but I’m not proposing a Stalinist purge of the penis. I love my penis as much as the next guy. In many ways, though, my tongue was the mentor to my penis, and taught it to behave like a gentleman.”
Try rubbing the penis on the clitoris for a long period of time during coreplay for mutual pleasure. This is commonly practiced in East African cultures, engaging the glans of the clitoris with the glans of the penis to the point of climax.
Incorporating Vibrators into Your Coreplay
While oral sex might be a key to some people’s climaxes, it’s also not for everyone, every single time. That’s where vibrator technology comes into play.
During a deep kiss you can use vibrators on each other.
Here are 5 reasons why your penis will love a vibrator. Just think about it, who doesn’t want heightened mutual pleasure?
Coreplay & Multiple Orgasms
As women and people with vulvas tend to be multiply orgasmic, this coreplay can last for hours and hours and hours – struggling to find an end.
For people with penises, the refractory period may get in the way of this. To avoid the refractory period and last during these long sessions of coreplay, there are techniques you can use to achieve non-ejaculatory orgasms. Start strengthening your kegels and practice edging.
Remember, when it comes to sex, be pleasure oriented and have fun!