Is your sex life becoming stale? Are your friends yawning at how excited you got over the iron squirting all over your shirts? Well, it might be about time you turned up the heat in the bedroom – and not with the iron!
Here are 10 signs you need to spice things up in the bedroom and how to love sex with your partner all over again.
#1 Sex Has Become a Chore
Remember when sex used to be the most important meal of the day? Now it has become a chore, like a child being made to eat their vegetables. But now, as an adult, vegetables can be made so exciting – just by adding some oil, chilli flakes and giving it a sizzle on the grill! Don’t let sex become a chore.
Make it exciting and something to look forward to. Those chilli flakes can be anything from leaving sexy notes around the house or sending sexy texts/nudes that add a splash of desire back into the bedroom. You could even invest in a blindfold, feather or handcuffs and surprise your partner – making sex a game that you both want and need, not something you feel burdened with.
#2 You’re Too Busy for Sex
Really, no one is “too busy” for sex. Don’t keep putting it off & read our article on how to fit sex into your schedules for those “busy-bees” out there. Kate Moyle from Pillow App, advises for you to schedule a date night. As unsexy as planning sex may sound, it is essential to give yourselves a good amount of time to focus on yourselves and each other!
During those hours you would normally be watching tv or stressing over emails, just remember when you are off the clock you should be off the clock! Just because our phones allow us to work 24/7 doesn’t mean we should be. Prioritise your sex life and your partner. The Pillow App is a great way to reconnect using technology with plenty of couples games to play at home.
#3 Your Affection is Limited to the Bedroom
Whoever said “get a room” needs to spice up their own sex life. What happened to the early days of kissing in public? Maybe you gag at the thought of public displays of affection, but taking your affection outside of the house can really help to spice things up inside the bedroom! Why not get a little more affectionate outside. Maybe a under a shaded tree in a park, or behind the shopping center. Relive your best teenage self. Push yours or your partner’s boundaries and surprise them with a deep kiss in a very public area. And for those extra daring few, take it up a couple of bases (orally, or penetratively), just be sure not to get caught like that couple in the cinema who were fined for public indecency during the Batman movie.
#4 You Don’t Masturbate Anymore
Look, masturbation may not be high on your list of priorities, particularly if the bedroom life has gotten a little dry… But it is an essential part of self love and your wellbeing whether you are single or not! Hit two birds with one stone and try mutual masturbation. Watch each other while you race to climax. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been together for a few months or 50 years, you might still learn a trick or two during mutual masturbation. It is a great way to show a partner what you like or would like them to try.
#5 You Can’t Remember the Last Time You Wore Sexy Underwear and Felt Amazing
Maybe it was your birthday two summers ago? Or maybe on Halloween – but you got too drunk to fully enjoy it. The main goal of wearing sexy underwear should be to make you feel incredible, and secondly to get you (and your partner) in the mood. Don’t wait for an excuse to dig out that neglige that’s neglected and tangled up in the bottom of your sock drawer. Go out and treat yourself or your partner. If you are unsure where to look, try Burgundy Fox for some extremely titillating underwear, guaranteed to spice up anyone’s palate!
#6 Your Vibrators are Flat & Gathering Dust
Now, in our books, this is sacrilegious. Get your act together, clean them up (read our ultimate guide on sex toy materials to find out how to clean different types of toys) or buy some new ones. Find those chargers and give them some juice. Crescendo is the world’s first bendable smart vibrator, and Tenuto is the world’s first wearable smart vibrator for men! These two products are all you need to raise the temperature in the bedroom.
#7 You Have That One Go-To Position
Think you’ve tried them all? Guess again. Sex positions are infinite when you mix them up in a session. You may have your go-to missionary then 69 then doggy – maybe flip it and reverse it. Incorporating Crescendo and Tenuto will open a whole playbook of positions to add to your repertoire! If you are needing some inspiration, we’ve got you covered. To start check out these 7 creative ways couple play with their vibrators.
#8 You’re Jealous of Your Friend’s Sex Lives
Don’t just sit there stewing in green envy while your single mate regales you with their adventures from last weekend where they got tied up shibari-style and got pleasured by 4 different people at once! If you want to go to a pleasure or swingers party, go to one! You may not even want to go a sex fest but just like the idea of it. If you have a partner, express those desires and fantasies, gauge their interest – see if they would like to go with you. The beauty of play parties such as Pleasure Island or Killing Kittens is that you can go and just watch, clothes on (or off). Even if you don’t end up having any kind of sex, you can bring all that yummy sexual energy home with you.
#9 There’s a Romantic Disconnect
Perhaps, a sign that you need to spice things up is that you’ve forgotten how to connect with each other. You have disconnected in the ways you like to give and receive affection and that is affecting your sex life. It is essential to figure out your own and your partner’s needs, continually, throughout a relationship. The 5 Love Languages questionnaire is a great way to address what you both need and appreciate. Whether that be: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time or physical touch. Using these languages of affection, bring that into the bedroom. If they like being bought gifts – buy them some lingerie. If they like physical touch – offer them a full body sensual massage and use the erotic massager Crescendo.
#10 You Don’t Feel Satisfied Sexually
Not only do you need to figure out both your romantic languages, but your erotic languages are utterly vital. Not everyone speaks the same language when it comes to sex. The Erotic Blueprint questionnaire can really help you and a partner understand each other’s sexual desires. It might be that one of you loves rough kinky play, but the other is a much more sensual lover. In appreciating these, you can cooperate and spice things up on a very individual and personal level.
So, let’s turn up the heat and bring spice back into your bedroom!