7 ways to reconnect with your long-term partner

Keeping the spark alive in a long-term relationship is no easy task. When family life and work start to take over, it’s easy for romance to take a backseat. Whispering sweet nothings is replaced by nagging about chores, and cute movie nights-in are interrupted by phone calls from your boss.

 

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Nov 14 5 min read
7 ways to reconnect with your long-term partner

We get so caught up in the pattern of ‘business as usual’ that the romantic connection we once had with our partner starts to get lost.

So, how do we reconnect, and what are the best ways to keep a long-term relationship interesting?

Here are 7 ways you and your partner can strengthen your relationship.

1. Make time for each other

This might seem like an obvious thing to do, but when you’re both so busy it’s an easy one to forget.

Plan some time each week, for just the two of you, and use it to get to know each other better. Whether you end up talking about a good book you’ve just read, or a problem you’re having at work, just by setting aside some time free of distractions like your cellphone, you’ll both feel more connected.

2. Small gestures add up

Don’t forget the little things in your relationship. It doesn’t need to be a big occasion, like an anniversary or Valentine’s Day, to make a romantic gesture.

Doing things like texting your partner while they’re at work just to say you’re thinking of them, or making your partner a cup of coffee in the morning, are small loving gestures that build up over time and don’t require a whole heap of planning.

Plus, those off-the-cuff moments will take you back to the flirtatious days when you first met.

3. Change your routine

While those small, everyday gestures are an easy way to show your partner you love them, changing up your routine can be another way to reconnect.

You could go for a spontaneous meal out, surprise your partner with a nice bottle of wine as a treat, or book tickets to a concert. Doing something a bit different helps to shake up the norm and could be fun to see where an unexpected evening takes you.

 


4. Learn a new skill together

Learning a new skill can be a great way to boost your confidence later in life. And doing it with your partner will not only make your new hobby easier to stick to; it could help your romantic bond grow stronger.

Whether it’s dance classes, or committing to jogging a 5k, set yourselves a mutual goal that you can support one another towards.

5. Show physical affection

In a long-term relationship, it’s common to feel distant, both emotionally and physically.

One way to overcome this is to make a conscious effort to show each other more affection. If you get in the habit of kissing each other goodbye, or greeting your partner with a hug, that intimacy will help to strengthen your emotional bond.

6. Look after yourself

While making time for each other is important, scheduling in some ‘me’ time is essential to having a healthy long-term relationship. If you don’t feel fulfilled in yourself, it’s more likely you’ll resent your partner’s company and you can’t bring the best version of yourself to the relationship.

Spend some time exploring your own interests, doing things with friends, or working on your health and fitness. Then, you’ll feel more relaxed and ready to spend quality time with your partner.

7. Communicate

Don’t let issues fester. The sooner you address disagreements or feelings of discontent, the sooner you give your partner an opportunity to address those problems.

And, if you find trying to communicate causes arguments, use the rule of three sentences. This works really well when you want to ask your partner to do something, without nagging.  

For example, saying, ‘Please can you do the dishes tonight, I’m feeling pretty tired. It would help a lot’ gets your point across, without causing argument.

 

While every couple is different, it’s more common than you might think for people to drift apart in a long-term relationship. But these are just 7 small ways we think you can help

 

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