If I asked you to describe how being single felt, what would you say? Free? Exciting? Fun? Empowering? What about lonely? Tiring? Depressing?
Unfortunately positive connotations of single life seldom prevail.
Historically, finding a partner has been viewed as a huge milestone in our lives. It sets the basis of progression towards many traditional stepping stones such as having children or getting married.
Instead of all the great things that coincide with being single, such as having the time to be selfish and love yourself, we often think of single life as a passing time, as though we’re incomplete until we’ve found ourselves a counterpart.
Being in a relationship and sharing a deep connection with someone is an amazing feeling. But it doesn’t have to be your main goal in life. There’s no need to equate happiness with marital status.
In the digital age, single life is way more accepted and celebrated. However, dating still occupies a huge chunk of our time and with a new dating app launching every week, it can quite a vicious circle.
A lot of the time dating can be exhausting, but it doesn’t have to be.
Here are some dating tips we hope will make you feel good about single life, and recharge you ready for mulled wine season.
Dating Tip #1: Look out for yourself first
I know it’s a cliche but your self esteem, your self awareness, and how strong you feel about yourself is where the good stuff is. How can you expect someone else to love you, if you don’t love yourself? Taking the time to be independent is really important. The feeling of being content and happy with your life by yourself is incredibly empowering. Remember that a great partner (or partners) will always just be a by-product of your happiness. They’re an added bonus.
Make sure you discover ways to enjoy being single and have fun in the process.
Dating Tip #2: Accept rejection
I know it can be really difficult to accept rejection, especially when you feel as though things are going well.
The key to getting over this is to accept the fact that you’re not going to be compatible with every person you meet. Don’t take rejection too personally, it happens to the best of us.
Whenever this happens to me I say to myself; Think about a person you dated, that was nice, but didn’t really feel a connection with. How did it end?
Often, you’ll find that in this scenario, you stopped prioritising them, despite their eagerness to see you again. I bet this has happened more than once.
You see, the dating game involves rejection from both sides, we just become oblivious to the times we’ve rejected someone when the shoe’s on the other foot!
Dating Tip #3: Don’t rush
Seriously, there’s nothing wrong with being single.
In fact, the longer you’re single, the more time you have to value yourself and your relationships. By realising your worth, you’ll end spending less time on bad dates, and more time on good dates with good people!
We don’t give ourselves enough time. We need time to breathe. We need time to think and to learn. We need time to get lost in a few pairs of lovely eyes and share stories with strangers that make us laugh. We don’t need to jump into the arms and beds of different people until one of them decides to stay for a little while longer than the rest. We don’t need titles or commitment that’s rushed.
We need time to love ourselves.
Dating Tip #4: Be selfish
You shouldn’t ever have to ‘put up’ with something that doesn’t make you happy. Of course small idiocracies such as how they like to dress, or what they like to eat, are all personal preferences.
But if your date is rude or doesn’t value your time, it is absolutely okay to say no to a second date (as long as you politely explain why).
Never feel pressured to make yourself like someone, if the spark just isn’t there.
‘There’s plenty more fish in the sea’ is such an old story, but it’s true. Don’t ever settle.