8 Tips To Master Dominant Dirty Talk + 30 Phrases You Can Use

Lost for words in the bedroom? Try these dirty talk phrases or learn how to articulate your desires confidently, dominantly, and arouse your partner with these tips to master dominant dirty talk.

Published Jun 27 2024 10 min read

Dirty talk isn't just about throwing out some naughty words - the right combination of words can create an arousing power play. Imagine expressing your desires in a way that takes control and enhances the excitement during sex for both of you. You don't need to be a kink or BDSM expert to enjoy the benefits of dominant dirty talk. All you need is imagination and the help of these 8 tips to add an edge of dominance that transforms regular dirty talk into something commanding and thrilling.

If you’re eager to get to the good stuff, jump straight to the dirty talk examples. Just remember to bookmark this page because you’ll be coming back for more (pun intended).

1. Establish clear boundaries and safe words

Alright, before you dive headfirst into dominant dirty talk, lay the ground rules with your partner. Think of it like setting up the rules for a two-player game - you can't win if you don't know how to play. Chat about your boundaries, desires, and what's off-limits, because nobody likes surprises when it comes to sex. Consider picking a safe word, which is like the emergency brake for when things get too intense. Even if you don’t think you need a safe word, choosing one together can set the tone and add to the anticipation of what’s to come.

2. Assert control with your voice

The tone of your voice is your secret weapon in conveying dominance during dirty talk. Adopting a firm, confident tone instantly signals to your partner that you’re in control, and that is incredibly sexy. Play with the pacing and rhythm of your speech - slow down for a deliberate, commanding effect, and lower your voice for added intensity. Pausing before certain words or phrases can also heighten anticipation and emphasize dominance. Experiment with these techniques to see what resonates with both you and your partner. Remember, it’s not just what you say, but how you say it that sets the mood.

3. Use the power of imperative commands

Imperative commands are your best friend when it comes to dominant dirty talk. Imperatives are direct commands that tell someone exactly what to do, like “kneel,” “come here,” or “don’t move.” Think of them as your verbal exclamation points, clearly commanding attention and asserting your intentions and expectations. When delivered with a confident tone of voice, imperative phrases can command attention and be incredibly arousing. Try alternating between firm, direct commands and softer, more gentle instructions to keep your partner on their toes. The goal is to create an arousing atmosphere with control and anticipation, so let your words lead the way.

4. Reiterate dominance with strong body language

Dominance in the bedroom isn’t just about what you say - it’s also about when you say it. While it’s not technically verbal, the pauses and actions between your words can amplify your power and control. Direct eye contact, assertive hand gestures, and standing tall with confidence all reinforce the dominance conveyed through your dirty talk. Combining these nonverbal cues with powerful phrases can create a more intense and commanding presence. The silence between your words, paired with confident body language, can make your partner hang on to your every syllable, waiting for the next command.

5. Create a commanding persona with roleplay

Roleplaying as a dominant character can bring exciting possibilities for dirty talk. Create a dominant personality or character, whether it’s an authoritative boss or a seductive dominatrix, and immerse yourself in the fantasy. It might help to create a character for your partner too, creating a dynamic of control and submission in which you assert your dominance by commanding, praising, or scolding them. The key to successful roleplaying is maintaining confidence and fully committing to your character. Who knew playing pretend could be so erotic?

6. Speak with sensory details

One of the most powerful tools in dominant dirty talk is using sensory detail to describe what you're going to do to your partner. Instead of simply saying what you want to do, provide explicit descriptions of what you plan to do to them, then delay the action, building up their desire and heightening the sense of control. Describe the feel of your touch, the sound of their moans, or the way they taste. For example, instead of saying "I'm going to kiss you," substitute that for "I’m going to press my lips against yours and kiss you until you can’t think of anything else." This level of detail not only makes your words more compelling but also immerses your partner in the experience, electrifying every moment and movement.

7. Mix playful with possessive

Blending erotic and playful teasing with possessive language can give your dirty talk an edge of dominance. The power of possessive pronouns, like "my" and "mine," combined with teasing comments, can make your partner feel desired and claimed. Depending on the mood, you might want to start with light, teasing remarks then shift into more possessive, assertive phrases. For example, you might begin with a cheeky, “Oh, you think you can resist me?” and follow it up with a confident, “You’re mine now.” Or try, “Are you ready for me?” and then add, “Because I own you tonight.” This combination keeps your partner on their toes and maintains a balance between playful teasing and the intensity of possessive commands. By mixing the play with possession, you create nuanced dirty talk that will captivate your partner’s attention and arousal.

8. Create a list of personal & provocative phrases

When engaging in dominant dirty talk, having a robust vocabulary at your disposal allows for more creative expression and tantalizing conversation. Make a list of terms that convey control, desire, and authority and provoke arousal for both you and your partner, encompassing a range of titles, phrases, and adjectives. Words like "mine," "obey," "kneel," "good girl/boy," and "now" can be incredibly effective. Experiment with different words and word combinations to see what resonates with you and your partner. And personalize it! Don’t force words that don't bode well with you just because they are common. For example, if you or your partner feel uncomfortable with words or phrases like “pretty little slut” then don’t use it. There is no shortage of nouns and adjectives to substitute for those you don’t like. Continue adding to your list and refine it as you discover new favorites, keeping your dirty talk relevant, exciting, and deeply arousing.

30 dominant dirty talk phrases to command authority

If you’re still tongue tied about what to say in the bedroom, here’s a short list of commanding phrases you can borrow and personalize to help channel your inner dominant.

  1. “You’re mine.”
  2. “On your knees.”
  3. “Don’t move until I say so.”
  4. “That’s a good girl/boy.”
  5. “Look at me when I’m talking to you.”
  6. “Beg for it.”
  7. “You belong to me.”
  8. “Who do you belong to?”
  9. “Give me what’s mine.”
  10. “Spread your legs.”
  11. “Do you think you deserve this?”
  12. “Don’t make a sound.”
  13. “I decide what happens next.”
  14. “You’re not allowed to touch yourself until I say so.”
  15. “Do exactly as I say.”
  16. “Come for me.”
  17. “Address me as [insert name].”
  18. “I want to hear you beg for more.”
  19. “You’re here to please me, do you understand?”
  20. “You don’t get to choose; I do.”
  21. “Does that [insert body part or verb] help you cum?”
  22. “We're done when I say we're done.”
  23. “I knew I could smell the submissive in you.”
  24. “I know you can take more.”
  25. “Show me how bad you want it.”
  26. “Tell me how much you want it”
  27. “When I hear your moan, I know you’re mine.”
  28. “I’m going to spank you so hard you won’t be able to sit tomorrow.”
  29. “I’m going to make you cum with my mouth then ride you like the animal you are until you cum.”
  30. “I’m going to lick you until you’re begging, and then I’ll decide when you can cum.”


Words are powerful, and if your goal is to assert dominance, then powerful words are your secret weapon. Dominant dirty talk can give your sex life a new, arousing edge. By commanding with confidence, using sensory details to make them squirm, and playfully asserting your possessiveness, you can take control and boost arousal. So, select your safe word, channel your inner dominance, and gear up for a good time. Who knew a few well-placed words could act as such potent aphrodisiacs? If you’re craving more BDSM in your life, there are many ways to incorporate dominance and submission into your everyday life.

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