Squirting. Gushing. Waterfalling. Splooshing (not to be confused with sploshing). La Femme Fontaine… Female ejaculation is one controversial topic that has you lot slipping and sliding all over the place!
Is it real? Isn’t it just pee? Where does it come from? How (and why) does it happen?
Read on to get sprayed with some seriously slippery information that will dispel the myths and taboos surrounding female ejaculation.
From our Squirting Survey, 53% of you told us that you first learnt about female ejaculation from porn, and 26% learnt about it through friends (who most likely learnt about it from porn).
However, 18% of you say you first learnt about it from personal experience. Without any prior education that must have come as quite a shock. Many also reported their first experience of female ejaculation was tinged with shame, fearing urinary incontinence – wetting the bed.
Nevertheless, you’ll (not just) pee your pants with excitement when you find out everything you need to know (and more) about female ejaculation.
- Politics & Society:
- Myths & Science:
- Experience & Pleasure:
History & Culture
What Did the Ancients Make of Female Ejaculation?
In the West the Ancient Greeks first wrote about female ejaculation. Famous thinkers Aristotle and Galen believed it was directly linked to reproduction – calling it female sperm.
However, in Ancient Chinese medicine, it was widely known as being separate from reproduction. Calling it the White Moon Flower medicine, they believed that drinking it would sexually enhance men and could even bring immortality.
In Ancient South Asian Sanskrit, it was called Amrita (or the Nectar of the Goddess) and was similarly believed to bring immortality and strength.
How Is Female Ejaculation Practiced & Viewed Across the World Today?
Pleasure expert, Jessica Parker tells us that her partner, D, and co-founder of Ebony & Ivory Sensual Massage…
…”was brought up in a part of East Africa where female ejaculation was part of his lessons in the village in his early teens. This practice is taught to maintain sexual balance of pleasure between men and women to sustain a happy marriage and contribute towards the cohesion of the wider community.”
Together, Jessica and D provide four handed massages that can result in female ejaculation:
“Our basic approach is: talk about what will and what might happen, go through gentle breathing techniques so you recognise what to do to help your body squirt naturally, this talk beforehand helps prepare you so your mind can quieten and trust and let go, full body sensual massage gradually focussing on vulva massage to prepare your pelvic floor.”
Despite Alexander Skene “discovering” the female prostate (which has been since called the “Skene’s Gland”) in 1880s Britain, medics have recurrently been skeptical. Prominently male scientists medicalised female ejaculation as an incontinence condition of involuntary urination and many in the West claim to this day that it is just urine, fuelling the anxiety and shame around it.
As there is still much controversy around female ejaculation, Diana J Torres explains that in Spain young women have had their Skene’s glands surgically removed to fix the “problem” of incontinence during sex.
Politics & Society
Who’s Making the Laws on Female Ejaculation Anyway?
In 2014, a law was passed in the UK banning any female ejaculation from being depicted in British pornography, along with other sexual acts such as face-sitting and fisting (both of which were deemed “life-threatening”).
This law was passed by the Audiovisual Media Services Regulation under the guise of “protecting children” but consider this – why is female pleasure viewed as a threat?
Censoring female ejaculation is not just telling young people that there is something wrong with them but it is attaching stigma and shame to their sexuality.
How Does Society See Female Ejaculation?
“On the one hand society finds it to be fictional and a deliberate construction of porn but there are people I’ve heard of in the “real” world who have squirted. It’s a mystery that needs solving!”
Society’s views are ever changing but due to the taboos around sex in general there is a lack of research and education surrounding this topic alongside plenty of pornographic material (incorrectly) teaching us about the sexual body.
“When I tell guys I can squirt they love it. I know thats because of porn. I wonder how people felt about it before porn, like, if women were ashamed?”
Some people do feel ashamed, even fetishised or “gross” for being able to do it. While others may feel inadequate for not being able to do it.
“A lot of women would find it gross as we’re kind of taught to think our vaginas are gross and that squirting is something to be embarrassed about.”
Myths & Science
What is Fake Squirt?
Speaking of porn (and speaking as someone who has watched a lot of it – all in the name of research, of course!), the vast majority of times you see a female porn star squirt on camera, it’s fake.
Occasionally you’ll see the genuine squirt, but more often than not, it’s easier for a performer to train themselves to fake it than to be able to squirt on command.
But how can you tell?
It has been said by Porn actress, Tara Lynn Fox, who spoke to Cosmopolitan, explaining that her experience of female ejaculation on set was a water-loading effect”.
While shooting a scene for a squirting fetish site, Fox couldn’t seem to do it naturally, so (in her words, via email), “the director filled up a bunch of douches with water and had me lay on my back and started filling me up! Then as soon as he thought there was enough he threw the bottle out of sight and hit record — and ferociously started rubbing my clit to make it look believable.”
However, she did admit to having squirted naturally once when the camera’s weren’t rolling!
So, What is Real Female Ejaculation & Why Does it Happen?
Inconclusive scientific studies repeatedly state it is urine. The most commonly shared study is Samuel Salama’s research from 2014. Nature and Origin of “Squirting” in Female Sexuality was only done on 7 ejaculatory women using ultrasound scans screening of bladder.
Conclusion: “squirting is essentially the involuntary emission of urine during sexual activity, although a marginal contribution of prostatic secretions to the emitted fluid often exists.”
However, we know that this is not the case from personal accounts and more extensive research. Many believe that this is merely a media grabbing story fuelled by the porn censorship legislation.
Some argue that the sheer amount of liquid that can come out during female ejaculation is scientifically impossible to have come from the bladder. Particularly as the bladder can only hold 2 ½ cups.
The Skene’s Glands (also known as the female prostate or the Paraurethral Glands) are made up of tiny erectile capillaries connected to ducts in between the urethral and vaginal canals.
It is roughly the same place as the “mythical” G-Spot – or better phrased as the G-area. When this area is stimulated, the glands fills with the watery substance called PSA (prostatic-specific antigen) similar to that of the prostatic fluid in the male prostate (read more on the male prostate in our article on 10 things you need to know about the penis).
Many people report that when they squirt, it often happens separately from orgasm, but it can also be experienced at the same time.
For most, this liquid is released from the urethra. However, the capillaries are also linked to the vaginal canal and many have reported of squirting from their vagina hole.
Incredibly, more tiny holes have even been found either side of the urethra and people have speculated that ejaculate can be released from there too.
Florian Wimpissinger has theorised that for those whose prostates have been stimulated but not ejaculated, the liquid can end up in the bladder where it will be released during urination.
Sex toy reviewer, Epiphora, started a Twitter movement back in 2015 called #notpee to dispel any myths surrounding female ejaculation as unhygienic and a medical condition of urinary incontinence.
The current scientific consensus is that along with the prostatic fluid, female ejaculate is mixed with glucose and trace amounts of urine (as of course it comes out of the same hole).
Why Does it Happen?
The obvious answer is that the sexes are homologous to each other – we all began with the same bits in the womb before hormones turned some bits into “male” and “female” sexual organs. So biologically (as with the male nipple) female ejaculate is a byproduct of the sex divide.
Other research from 2009, found potential evolutionary evidence for female ejaculate as having an antimicrobial purpose by flushing out infection from the urethra. Specifically:
(1) women who could ejaculate antimicrobial secretions into the urethra were less likely to suffer UTIs (particularly coitus-induced UTIs),
(2) women without UTIs were more likely to be receptive to coitus at a greater frequency,
(3) women engaging in frequent coitus were more likely to become pregnant, and
(4) women who became pregnant often were more likely to successfully reproduce the species.
Whilst both of these theories have merit, at the end of the day, do we really need an evolutionary or biological reason why our bodies do something that feels good? Although squirting is not directly linked to orgasm, Jessica explains that..
…”some people feel an intense release, head rush, full body tingling, some have a full on emotional release afterwards, some feel very vulnerable, tender, high, ecstatic, drained, dehydrated!”
Experience & Pleasure
What Are Your Experiences of Female Ejaculation?
“I don’t like the mess, especially if I’m planning to sleep after sex. I eventually learned how to control it a bit (combo of peeing before and kegels) mainly for the mess, but I can’t always control it, especially if penetration is involved.”
Relationship expert, Susan Bratton, found out the amount of liquid produced varies greatly from person to person – ranging from 31.45% as super-soakers and 10.85% of just a small amount.
For those super-soakers, we recommend “Sheets of San-Francisco” which are fluid proof sheets, uniquely manufactured for liquid fun!
“I was really surprised and bit concerned! It was through masturbation and I was quite young and I thought there was something wrong with me. I felt really ashamed.”
“Felt embarrassed because I didn’t know what it was and I thought I had wet myself.”
“Lots of stigma and invisibility…Was definitely spoke about in shaming terms when i was younger.”
“I think women feel either grossed out by it or broken if they can’t. I just think it’s another way people shame vulva owners.”
“It just happened, wasn’t a big deal.”
“Ex boyfriend was VERY good with his hands! Lots of pressure pushing on my stomach and then v v hard with fingers! I didn’t even realise that was going to happen but saw a bit squirt out. But to be honest it wasn’t as good as just normal clit orgasm.”
“One time a guy said to me he thought I would be a squirter because I was very wet and he’d seen it before – I told him I’d know better than him and I’ve never really been close. Not against it, but against some random hook up telling me what my body is capable of.”
“It was amazing and I was hooked for life now all I want is squirters.”
“Previous partners have always loved it to the point of obsession which can be quite irritating / weird as it can take over the experience as they want it to happen every single time (which it doesn’t).”
“My current partner is mad for it and sees it as a huge success if I squirt during sex.”
“I think men see it as an accomplishment.”
“Lots of guys I’ve slept with in the past have fetishised it and just tried to make it happen as much as possible which obviously isn’t always what you want.”
“I have given them many times but one sticks out. I made one woman squirt so good that she hosed down the wall from 5 ft away. We were both surprised when we saw the wall.”
“I remember seeing it in porn at the age of 13, when I saw her face she seemed to be experiencing the purest kind of pleasure. Pure bliss, pushing the squirt out in a display of power and victory. I was struck by how sexy it is, particularly when it sprays far. I also want to add that I don’t have a pee fetish, the two are very different.”
“With my current (long term) boyfriend it happens pretty much every time we have sex, but I haven’t always done it. I enjoy it too, so now that I’m with someone I trust who I know won’t be freaked out, I let it happen whenever I feel it coming rather than holding back.”
“I could not believe my body was capable of it. My entire body contracted and then when I finally allowed it to release, I just squirted. I had always been jealous that my partner could do it.”
Clearly there is a lot of different emotions surrounding this topic. We would advise communicating with a partner if this is something you want to experience. Make sure it is something you both want to do, and avoid putting any pressure (emotionally) on getting there as this will only have adverse effects (physical pressure is key however).
Can Anyone Squirt & How Is It Done?
In 1981 the groundbreaking book, The G Spot, and Other Recent Discoveries About Human Sexuality, Perry and Whipple discovered that:
“When we began asking coed audiences whether they has ever personally experienced or encountered female ejaculation, only about 10 percent raised their hands. This percentage has been steadily increasing and recently the response has been close to 40 percent.”
This shows that merely a bit of education either allows people to become comfortable enough for it to happen, or perhaps reevaluate what they may have previously thought was incontinence as ejaculate.
We put this question to you guys and 26.5% thought anyone with a vulva can, 26.5% thought not everyone can and 47% just weren’t sure!
The answer is inconclusive as there is no realistic way to find out if “everyone” can do it. However, pleasure expert Jessica believes that our bodies are designed to do it.
“If you have the plumbing equipment/anatomy – urethral sponge, paraurethral gland/Skene’s glands – then yes you are capable of physically doing it, however the rest of your body and mind need to be on board also!”
In She Comes First, Ian Kerner explains that female ejaculation, much like orgasm…
“…is part of the autonomic nervous system—it’s an involuntary response outside of the control of the mind.”
Yet there are:
“Women who train themselves to consciously ejaculate [who] also appear to produce more fluid than women who emit fluid involuntarily, lending further credence to the idea that urine may be contributing to the overall volume of ejaculate.”
If you already know that your body does this, tell partners ahead of time that you might ejaculate. Communication is key and will help avoid potentially negative responses.
Many find squirting only possible with a partner, but many G-spot stimulators are known to work for a solo experience, such as the vibrator, Crescendo.
For those who want to give it a go, here’s a few tips:
- Strengthen your kegels & “practice gentle ‘bearing down’ movements, as most people tense or squeeze up their pelvic floor muscles rather than a gentle push out movement” – Jessica
- Relax and know that whatever happens, happens. Just enjoy the sensations and let go
- Stimulate the clitoris to warm up
- Find the G-spot/G-area which should be approximately two inches in the vagina and facing the belly
- Begin to stimulate this area using a “come-hither” motion gently
- Build this more intensely – Susan Bratton advises using a horizontal motion like a “windscreen wiper”
- Consistency is key
- Put pressure on the stomach to intensify the stimulation of the Skene’s gland
- And push – and push again, even if you feel you have to pee!
Just remember, you aren’t missing out on mind blowing orgasms if you don’t ejaculate. But if you do, spray away and enjoy the fun.