How To Avoid Painful Sex: A Guide To Intimacy And Comfort

Discover how to avoid painful sex with MysteryVibe's expert tips. Enjoy intimacy without the discomfort. Click here to explore solutions!

Published Aug 24 2023 5 min read

Sex—that beautiful, magical dance of intimacy that's supposed to be nothing but pure pleasure, right? Well, not always. “How to avoid painful sex” is a question on many minds, because sometimes, what's meant to be a tantalizing tango can feel more like a torturous twist.

Painful sex, clinically known as dyspareunia, is an issue many silently grapple with. Cloaked in embarrassment, confusion, and misinformation, addressing the topic can be daunting. To help ease any discomfort behind closed doors, it's always worth reading up on how to best manage your pain, so you can regain your pleasure in sex!

1. Acknowledge the elephant in the (bed)room

    Painful sex should not be ignored, dismissed, or swept under the rug (or bedsheets). It's a genuine issue affecting many people, especially women, and it's crucial to address it head-on. Denial and avoidance won't make the problem go away. So, take a deep breath and acknowledge that an unwelcome guest is crashing your intimate soiree. Recognizing this can be your first step towards finding a treatment option.

    2. Communicate with your partner

    Having confronted the issue, your next step is to engage in an open dialogue with your partner. Discussing how to avoid painful sex with your partner might not be the most titillating pillow talk, but it's an essential conversation to have. Open communication is key to understanding each other's needs and finding a solution together. Besides, there's something quite sexy about vulnerability and honesty, so don't be afraid to bare your soul to your partner.

    3. Slow and steady wins the race

      There's no need to rush headlong into a painful situation, so take a step back and evaluate your approach to sex. Are you allowing enough time for arousal and foreplay? Remember, slow and steady wins the race, so give your body the chance to warm up and become properly lubricated.

      4. Lube up

        Sometimes, pain during sexual intercourse is caused by vaginal dryness. Vaginal dryness can occur due to hormonal changes, such as menopause or breastfeeding, or as a side effect of certain medications.

        A water-based lubricant can alleviate friction and offer more comfort. Apply the lubricant to the opening of the vagina and on the penis or sex toy before penetration. If using latex condoms, avoid using oil-based lubricants, and products like petroleum jelly, baby oil, or mineral oil, as they can weaken latex condoms and increase the risk of sexually transmitted infections.

        At MysteryVibe, we recommend the Pjur Aqua long lasting water-based personal lubricant. It moisturizes dry skin, providing gentle, soft, long-lasting care. Bonus: it's suitable for sex toys!

        5. Try relaxation techniques

          If anxiety or stress is causing your sexual pain, relaxation techniques can be a godsend. Deep breathing exercises, meditation, or yoga can help reduce anxiety and muscle tension. Pause during sex and take deep breaths until you feel relaxed enough to continue. Communicating with your partner about your needs and desires can also help reduce anxiety and make sex more enjoyable.

          6. Use dilators

            For women who are experiencing pain due to vaginismus, a condition where the muscles in the vagina involuntarily contract, dilators can be a helpful tool. These cone-shaped devices can be inserted into the vagina to help stretch the muscles. Start with the smallest dilator and work your way up to larger sizes over time. It may take several weeks or months to see results, but dilators can be an effective entry pain treatment for vaginismus.

            7. Experiment like a mad (sex) scientist

              Altering positions or techniques can sometimes relieve sexual discomfort. So, channel your inner mad (sex) scientist and start experimenting! Switching up positions can change the angle and depth of penetration, which may help alleviate discomfort.

              And don't forget about the power of non-penetrative sex—there are plenty of ways to achieve pleasure without going the traditional route. Plus, experimenting with your partner can be a fun and exciting way to deepen your connection and explore new erotic territories.  

              8. Delve into the world of pleasure devices

                Switching positions can help, but why not take it a step further by adding some specialized devices to your sexual repertoire?

                Meet Crescendo 2, which isn't just another sex toy, it's a scientifically-tested solution for Genito-pelvic pain/penetration disorder (don't worry, it's a fancy term for discomfort during sex). This FDA-registered device is the first of its kind to adjust to your unique body shape helping alleviate discomfort while taking your pleasure to new heights.

                If external stimulation is more your style, then meet Legato. Designed to offer relief for Vulvodynia (a condition that causes ongoing pain in the vulva), this revolutionary device stimulates the labia, vulva, and clitoris. Its adaptive design ensures a custom fit for pain relief and a journey to unforgettable pleasure. So, embrace the therapeutic and orgasmic potential of these groundbreaking devices, and transform your intimate life.

                9. Seek professional help 

                  If you've tried all of the above and painful sex persists, it's time to consult a professional—and by that, we mean a medical professional, physical therapist, or a certified sex therapist. They can help you identify the underlying cause of your discomfort and recommend appropriate treatment options. There's no shame in seeking help; in fact, it's a sign of strength and wisdom. So, arm yourself with knowledge and take control of your sexual well-being.


                  Sex is meant to be enjoyable. It's an intimate dance of connection and pleasure, and every individual deserves an experience free from pain. If you're experiencing discomfort, understanding how to avoid painful sex is paramount. Remember, you're not alone—and solutions are within reach.  Follow the steps above to reclaim your bedroom bliss! And while you're at it, consider our range of products tailored to enhance your intimate moments.

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