Ah, the holidays – the happiest time of year. Or is it? Holiday parties, gift-wrapping, gift shopping, kids home for the holidays, flight delays, in-laws, snow days... yeah, the holidays can be a stress-inducing time of year. With all this festiveness going on, something must give, and it’s usually your sex life. Here are some tips to help manage the holiday stress, so it doesn’t dampen your holiday spirit - and sex life.
Limit screen time
Nothing kills intimacy faster than two people sitting side-by-side, glued to the tiny glowing light of their phone. During the holidays, screen time exponentially multiplies, between work emails you “just need to check,” group chats pinging, and endless seasonal greetings from family and friends.
Cutting back doesn’t mean going off the grid. It just means giving yourselves actual face-to-face moments instead of letting screens hijack all your attention. Put your phones in another room during dinner, leave them charging while you watch a movie together, or set a “no phones in bed” rule for the holiday season.
A little digital distance goes a long way for physical intimacy. When you’re more present with each other, it becomes a lot easier to stay connected… and way easier to get in the mood.
Prioritize self-care
Holiday stress hits a lot harder when you’re running on fumes. Between the travel, the late nights, the hosting, the cold weather, and the “just one more thing” mentality, self-care usually falls to the bottom of the list. And here’s the real issue, the stress hormone cortisol is the quiet killer of libido. When your system is in survival mode, desire doesn’t stand a chance. Not to mention the winter can affect your sex drive in different ways, too.
Self-care is how you preserve any sex life at all. It doesn’t need to be a full spa day or some elaborate ritual. It can be twenty quiet minutes alone, a walk outside, a nap without guilt, saying no to something you don’t want to do, or giving yourself permission to rest. Whatever helps your body regulate your nervous system counts. Self-care is not selfish; it’s a direct investment in a happier sex life.
Have a sexy gift exchange
Who doesn’t love receiving a spicy holiday gift? A sexy gift exchange is one of the easiest ways to shake off the holiday chaos and bring some much-needed attention into your sex life. It’s like a white elephant - but extra exciting! Think a cheeky stocking stuffer like Foria’s arousal gel, or the vibrator Crescendo 2 for her, recommended by doctors to boost arousal or the wearable male vibrator Tenuto 2 that improves bedroom performance and partner pleasure at the same time. Gifting a vibrator can be a great way to get the eroticism between the two of you flowing again. The right sexy surprise can turn a stressful week into “oh… we’re definitely making time for each other tonight.”
Play sexy couples games
If there’s ever a season that needs a little more fun and a little less pressure, it’s the holidays. Sex games for couples are the perfect way to break out of “busy mode” and slip into something more provocative. Try games like strip twister, adult truth or dare, or use the MysteryVibe Playcards, a beautifully illustrated set of sex positions to play games like Risque Roulette or Dicey Dares. There is no shortage of fun activities to make up or play with your partner. Bonus – the MysteryVibe Playcards make a great sexy gift, too.
Ask for what you actually need
The holidays have a sneaky way of turning everyone into mind readers - or at least expecting our partners to suddenly become one. Spoiler: they won’t. And nothing kills intimacy faster than silent resentment, especially during a season that already stretches you thin.
So be honest about what you actually need. More help. More affection. More alone time. Less pressure. Fewer obligations. A little reassurance. A lot of reassurance. Whatever it is, say it out loud. Your partner can’t support you if they don’t know what’s going on inside your head.
Asking for what you need doesn’t make you demanding, it makes you easier to love. And the moment you stop pretending you’re fine when you’re definitely not, everything else - including your sex life - gets a lot simpler.
Be prepared to set boundaries
The holidays bring joy, sure, but they also bring in-laws, family politics, and that one relative who treats every gathering like a personality test you didn’t study for. And while you can’t always control the chaos, you can control how much of it you let into your life, and by extension - relationship.
Setting boundaries isn’t about being difficult; it’s about protecting your peace. Maybe it’s leaving an event early. Maybe it’s taking a break in the guest bedroom because the family dynamics are… a lot. Or maybe it’s agreeing as a couple that you won’t get pulled into certain conversations about politics this year.
You don’t have to absorb every emotion in the room or sacrifice your peace just to keep everyone else happy. Knowing when something is “too much” and actually calling it - keeps resentment from building and saves your energy for each other. And when you’re not emotionally wrung dry, you have leave room for the positive, like intimacy.
Drop one thing from your holiday plate
Holiday stress isn’t caused by one big thing; it’s death by a thousand tiny obligations. The elaborate dessert. The last-minute gift exchange. The “quick” errand that turns into an hour. Something has to give, and it shouldn’t always be your relationship.
Pick one thing - just one - and drop it. Don’t bake the cookies. Don’t go to that work event you’re dreading. The holidays will survive without that extra something. Letting go of one obligation creates more mental space than you’d think. And that space? Replace it with something that fills your cup instead of draining it – your partner. They deserve more of you than the holiday spirit.
Set expectations ahead of holiday chaos
Before the season really ramps up, have a quick reality check with each other. Not a “big relationship talk,” just an honest, open conversation about what you both want - and what you realistically have the bandwidth for.
Maybe you want more closeness. Maybe you want less pressure. Or maybe you are just real about the impending chaos and communicating your game plan so you’re both on the same page. Whatever it is, agree on it before you’re knee-deep in wrapping paper and last-minute plans. It stops resentment before it starts and keeps you aligned as a team instead of stressed individuals trying to guess what the other person expects.
Block off time for each other
The holidays fill your calendar on autopilot, dinners, parties, school events, travel, family drop-ins, and before you know it, your relationship gets squeezed right out of the schedule. So, add yourselves to the calendar with the same priority as anything else. Block off a few days in the month for each other. Have a winter date night that feels like something out of a Hallmark movie, schedule sex so you know intimacy won’t disappear for good, share a sensual massage at home to unwind from holiday stress.
The point is to create a pocket of time that belongs only to the two of you. When everything else is loud and demanding, those deliberate windows of connection keep your relationship from getting lost in the shuffle.
Takeaway
Holiday stress is practically guaranteed, but letting it steamroll your intimacy doesn’t have to be. When you set boundaries, drop the obligations that drain you, and make space for each other, your relationship stops getting buried under the chaos. A little intention, and a sexy gift like a doctor-recommended vibrator that makes arousal easy, goes a long way in keeping your connection, and your sex life, steamy this holiday season.
