As your relationship with your partner grows, you may want to add spice and sensuality: something extra special. Sensuality increases your confidence, helping you feel more comfortable in your own skin, as well as increasing your pleasure by engaging all of your senses. Do you want to bring an extra dose of sensuality to your bedroom? Here are a few of our favorite tips:
1. Invest in bedroom decor that helps enhance all your senses.
When you've been with your partner for a long time, your bedroom decor may become practical and functional, rather than sensual. While your decor doesn't have to be made up solely of red satin sheets and dim lighting, a little effort in your bedroom decor can make a big difference in the sensuality you experience. Try some of these strategies.
Choose great sheets that help you feel sexy. The type of sheets you want may vary depending on your style: for example, if you love that silky, sexy feeling, sateen sheets can help you slide into bed with a smile on your face. A high thread count and crisp sheets can also have you feeling extra sexy. Choose a set of sheets that you're comfortable sleeping on every night or have a special set of sheets set aside just for those nights when you're hoping for a little extra something special.
Invest in soft, diffuse lighting. Sure, sometimes, you just need the overhead lighting in your bedroom, but that's not the only light you need. Choose a lamp or other soft light source that will make you feel more confident and sexy.
Add great scents to your bedroom. Everyone has a scent that makes them feel sexier. If you're not comfortable using candles in the bedroom or don't want to have to worry about getting up to blow out the candles, consider using a diffuser or pillow spray to capture that perfect scent. Try:
- Vanilla, a sexy and erotic fragrance that can help get you in the mood
- Ylang ylang, which acts as a potent aphrodisiac
- Jasmine, which is associated with heightened sensuality
- Peppermint, which can raise energy levels and increase blood flow
Turn on white noise or soft music. Depending on your distraction level, you may not want music playing while you're in the middle of sex with your partner. White noise, however, can help drown out other sounds from the house, whether it's a movie playing in the living room or a child padding down the hallway to the bathroom for the third time that night.
Use temperature control devices in the bedroom. You don't have to drive up the temperature in the entire house to warm things up a little in the bedroom in winter or cool them down in summer. Invest in portable units that you can use just in your bedroom to ensure that you can easily create the ideal temperature.
2. Get to know what you like.
If you want to feel sexier and enhance sensuality, take the time to get to know what you really like. Your body is unique. You might not like exactly what someone else likes. You may have specific positions and spots that bring you more pleasure or certain types of stimulation that you really love.
Spend some solo time in the bedroom--a vibrator like Crescendo can help--or experiment with your partner to get a better idea of what really turns you on. As you become more comfortable with your own body, you'll naturally feel more sensual, which will translate into sexy time with your partner.
Keep in mind, too, that what you like may change as you age and grow. Your hormones will shift, your desires will change, and what you find mind-blowing in your twenties may not be the same thing that brings you pleasure in your thirties or forties. Set aside time to get to know your body and experiment with what you like. You may just learn a few things about yourself that will translate into a higher level of sensuality.
While you're experimenting with yourself, make time to experiment with your partner, too. One of the most sensual things you can do is genuinely enjoy getting to know your partner's body and learning what brings them pleasure. When you're in bed together, don't just automatically go with your old standbys. Instead, take the time to experiment and explore. Run your hands all over your partner's body, paying special attention to their most sensitive spots. You'll quickly discover new things about your partner and what they like that you can incorporate moving forward.
3. Get excited about trying something new.
Every sex experience with your partner doesn't have to be mind-blowing and exciting. When you've been with your partner for a long time, you learn that there is often immense intimacy in those quieter, seemingly mundane sex sessions. Sometimes, however, adding a little sensuality starts with trying something new.
First, sit down with your partner and discuss ideas. Sit close to one another and touch each other as you chat. You'll naturally ramp up the heat in the room and start getting excited about the things that you're eager to try in the bedroom. Consider some of these ideas:
- Bring a new toy into the bedroom. Crescendo or Tenuto could be the perfect place to start! Be sure to check out everything you can do with that toy ahead of time so that you're prepared to use it to its full advantage. Talk about what you're looking forward to most or what you'd most like to try together.
- Experiment with a new position--or positions. Choose several sessions to experiment with something new, and commit to trying it. If it doesn't work, you can always revert back to your tried and true favorites! We have a great playbook that can help you get started.
- Commit to a few sessions that aren't about vaginal sex. There are an amazing number of things you can do to bring your partner pleasure without ever actually having sex together, but they often get only a little time during foreplay. Manually stimulate your partner, try oral sex, or use a vibrator, like Crescendo or Tenuto, to add extra stimulation. You'll still get the amazing intimacy of a sexual experience together, but you'll also get to spend more time lingering over your partner and discovering what they really like.
4. Go on a lingerie shopping spree.
Lingerie shopping is hard, especially as an increasing number of stores move the majority of their stock online. Not only that, many women--and men, for that matter--have no idea what makes them look their sexy best.
Go on a lingerie shopping spree. Let your partner pick out something they would love to see on you. If you order online and it's not what you were hoping for in person, that's okay! The two of you can enjoy some great laughs together and try again next time. If you can get into a physical lingerie shop and try a few things on, let your partner pick out at least half a dozen things for you to try on. Can't model directly? Consider snapping a few pictures with your phone and sending them to your partner to get their opinion. Choose one or two special outfits and bring them into the bedroom to help ramp up the sensuality and have you both feeling (and looking) your best.
Remember, the woman in your partnership isn't the only one who can dress up in something special. Investing in something extra sexy for him--underwear that hugs his package or fully display his assets, for example--could be a great way to help you get in the mood.
5. Don't go straight to the genitals.
Want to ramp up the sensuality in your bedroom? Turn out the lights, close the door, and take it slow. Explore your partner's entire body. You may find new erogenous zones--and you'll definitely heighten anticipation and have your partner more excited than ever. Try some of these strategies:
Give your partner a full-body massage. Start with the shoulders and work your way down. As tempting as it is to get caught on by your partner's assets along the way, make sure that you don't get stuck there! Brush lightly over the genital areas and move on, building tension and increasing pleasure along the way.
Massage your partner's feet and legs. After a long day, this is a great way to relax, and is often surprisingly intimate.
Kiss your way over your partner's entire body. Focus on the areas that you find sexiest. Do you love the curve of her collarbone? That little dip in his shoulder when he's been working out hard? Give yourself permission to explore, caress, and taste.
Adding sensuality to the bedroom is a process--and much of that process takes place long before you actually enter the bedroom together. With the right tools, however, you can discover enhanced sensuality in the bedroom and a deep connection to one another, not to mention with yourself. Contact us today to learn more about how Crescendo and Tenuto can help enhance your sensuality.
