Although this article will reference the “male prostate”, please note that not all penis/prostate owners identify as male, and not all identifying men have a penis or “male” prostate.
Mapping the male G spot (also known as the P spot) has been more prominent in medical science than the controversial female G spot – which is unfortunately still up for debate today. But what actually is the prostate? How do we tap into the potential pleasures of prostate stimulation? And why should we bother with butt play?
In our recent survey 45% of you were unsure what or where it was exactly. So, here is your pleasure pocket guide to the prostate, sprinkled with a bit of history, tips for stimulating the male G spot and some particularly thought-provoking points on prostate stimulation.
- What is the prostate?
- What part did the prostate have to play in history & culture?
- What are the benefits of prostate massage?
- How else can you keep your prostate healthy?
- How to find & stimulate the prostate?
- What sex toys are good for prostate stimulation?
- What shouldn’t you be sticking up your arse?
The prostate is a walnut sized gland – growing with age up to a chestnut size. It is considered a pleasurable area located underneath the bladder and sensation can be accessed through the anus and the perineum.
The prostate produces PSA (prostate specific antigen) fluid, which is in alkaline pH, needed to protect sperm from acidic reactions in the vagina. It makes up 25% of semen. This is along with 70% seminal fluid from the seminal vesicle and 3-5% of sperm produced in the testicles. Check out these 10 things you should really know about the penis.
The homologous (equivalent) gland is found in the G spot (or G area) of female sexual organs – which produce PSA in women, also known as female ejaculation.
First illustrated by Andreas Vesalius in 1538 Belgium, the prostate gland was only felt by surgeons and not seen.
The 1800s saw early surgical procedures to treat prostate cancer – including the removal of the testes – without much success.
Since then, technology has developed to ultrascan the gland – which is actually made up of hundreds of little glands – for more advanced surgical procedures.
This recent technology has been able to identify prostate cancer in mummified bodies from Ancient Egypt.
Under English law in 1533, anal intercourse of a man (or woman for that matter) was criminalised as “buggery”.
Only in 1967 did the Sexual Offences Act decriminalise “homosexual acts” of anal sex between two consensual men over the age of 21. However, anal sex between a consensual man and woman was not decriminalised until 1994 if both parties were over 18.
Common misconceptions perpetuate that anal play is only for gay men, yet according to research done by LELO, 70% of straight men have either tried or have considered incorporating this into their sex lives, with 80% of straight and bisexual women being happy to give anal pleasure to men’s butt holes.
“Your prostate gland doesn’t care whether you’re straight, gay, bi or homophobic – just whether or not it’s loved.” – Mark Simpson
What are the benefits of prostate massage?
33% of men report stronger and longer orgasms when incorporating prostate massage, comparable to a female full-bodied orgasm. These can also be “dry orgasms” which is without ejaculation – resulting in no refractory period and multiple orgasms.
It can also help relieve pain from hyperplasia and enlarged prostate glands. One study found that ejaculation reduces the risk of prostate cancer.
In September, people wear light blue ribbons for prostate cancer awareness month as this disease affects 42,000 men globally each year and kills 11,000.
How else can you keep your prostate healthy?
Additionally to prostate massage, you can keep it healthy through kegel exercises.
That’s right! Kegel exercises work for men too, this helps to strengthen the PC muscles which can in turn give you and stronger erection and more intense orgasms.
There are also particular foods that some studies have shown to maintain a strong and healthy prostate. These include green tea and pomegranate juice for their antioxidant properties. Beans and nuts also contain phytoestrogens, known to fight cancerous cells in the prostate.
How can you find & stimulate the prostate?
First thing’s first, cleanliness and hygiene is priority when dealing with this area. Nail care is essential, keep them trimmed and filed if you are using your fingers.
Out of politeness, do ensure to first knock on the front door – by stimulating the penis – before attempting to enter the rear door.
Perineum massage, testicle stimulation and “door-belling” are great tricks if you want to arouse the prostate without penetration.
Fun fact: the perineum which is located in between the balls and the anus is nicknamed the “taint” because “it ain’t” one or the other.
For “door-belling”, imaging pushing a doorbell around and on the anus, this will arouse the nerve endings connected to the prostate.
Alternatively, anal licking can be super pleasurable for prostate stimulation. Lubricant – perhaps your favourite peach flavoured lube – can provide a sumptuous sensation for rimming for both of you.
Anon: “I have attempted self prostate stimulation through fingers anally to try and find it but I don’t know if I’ve been able to find it yet as I’m not really entirely sure what I’m looking for and how to recognise the feeling of prostate simulation. Admittedly the big problem is I’m finding is that it’s hard to find.”
Once you’re lubed up and rear-ing to go, take it slowly and gently. Communication is key. Continually check in with the receiver. If it is yourself, check in with yourself. Do some deep breathing to relax and become comfortable with the sensation.
Using one finger, you should be able feel a walnut shaped ridge about 2 inches in facing the front wall of the rectum. The motion should be a massaging of back and forth similar to the “come-hither” motion advised for stimulating the female G spot – and not an in and out motion.
Be super careful not to poke too hard, or cause any damage or distress.
What sex toys are good for prostate stimulation?
Prostate massagers and anal vibrators are designed specifically for prostate stimulation.
For insertable sex toys, make sure there is a flared base, so they won’t get lost.
If you are looking to try pegging, invest in a strap on designed for anal sex and find a size that suits you both. Remember, communication is key!
Tenuto is our wearable smart vibrator for men, but can also be worn with a strap on for pegging. With its strong vibrating motors specifically directed to stimulate the prostate indirectly through the perineum, Tenuto can be worn during solo play and sex with a partner.
What shouldn’t you be sticking up your arse?
Anon – “I’ve had finger stimulation, butt plugs, prostate stimulators, household objects”
Some seriously worrying objects have been used as DIY sex toys, read all about the dangers of this and trips to A+E in our article on The Importance of Sex Toys in Sex Education.
One surgeon disclosed their experience of all the things people have stuck up their assholes, and it is not a pretty sight. In alphabetical order, these include:
- An aubergine
- A bed leg
- A hard boiled egg
- A light bulb
- A soft ball
- A stick of dynamite
- A vase
Ricky Gervais retold this unfortunate story:
“I told you about the bloke who went into hospital with a sauce bottle up his arse. Obviously he was pleasuring himself with the sauce bottle, but in the report he had said he’d been shopping at SafeWays, and he’d come home with his shopping, and he’d forgot his key so he put his bags down on the step, and he started climbing up the drain pipe, but as he was climbing, his trousers and pants fell down, he slipped and fell and the sauce bottle went up his arse! And the officer said “this story would be somewhat believable if SafeWays sold their sauce bottles with condoms already attached”.
And if you thought that was bad, the rumours around a certain celebrity’s gerbiling fetish have been circling since the 1970s.
Gerbiling: also known as gerbil stuffing or gerbil shooting, is a rumoured sexual practice of inserting small live animals (usually gerbils but also mice, hamsters, rats and various other rodents) into the human rectum to obtain stimulation.
Of course, please don’t try any of these at home. Especially not the gerbils. If you know anyone who has attempted this, please contact the RSPCA to report animal cruelty.