5 Sexy Things Men Want In Bed But May Not Tell You

Uncovering the unspoken desires of men in the bedroom opens up a world of potential for deeper connections and heightened pleasure. Continue reading on!

Published Aug 01 2023 4 min read

One of the cornerstones of a fulfilling and satisfying sex life is open communication between partners. However, it's no secret that talking about intimate desires and fantasies can be difficult for many people, even in the context of a trusting and supportive relationship. For some men, there may be unspoken desires or preferences they crave in the bedroom but hesitate to share with their partner. Here are a few hidden desires that you may not have known about.  

1. Men may want to explore dominance and submission

Many men may fantasize about experimenting with dominance and submission in the bedroom, but may not openly express these desires due to fear of judgment or misunderstanding. By engaging in consensual power exchange dynamics, partners can create an exciting and intense sexual experience that deepens trust and intimacy.   

If you’re feeling adventurous, ask your partner if this is an area they are interested or fantasize about exploring. If so, ask which role they would like to role play as and set boundaries and watch the flames of desire blaze. 

2. Men way want to be teased

The excitement of anticipation and prolonged arousal can be an incredibly powerful aphrodisiac for men. Engaging in a slow, sensual buildup allows some men to fully experience the various stages of arousal, ultimately heightening the pleasure of release. However, some men may feel pressure to cut foreplay short and get to penetrative sex due to societal expectations.  

Try experimenting with teasing your male partner by incorporating slow, gentle touches, erotic massage, or even blindfolds into your intimate encounters. Encourage your partner to communicate how these sensations make them feel and adapt your approach accordingly. By embracing sensual teasing and anticipation, you and your partner can deepen your connection and heighten the intensity of your orgasms. 

3. Men may be interested in impact play

Some men may crave the intensity of impact play or other forms of physical stimulation, such as spanking, either being on the receiving end or giving spanking. The thrill of experiencing and doling different sensations during sex can be highly arousing, leading to a more passionate and satisfying sexual encounter. However, some men may fear judgement or stigma about bringing up their fantasy about being spanked or spanking their partner.   

Bring up the topic with your partner, approaching it with compassion, understanding, and curiosity. Consider experimenting with household items or purchasing sex toys specifically designed for impact play. 

4. Men may want more verbal feedback and dirty talk

Verbal appreciation and vocal expression can deepen intimacy and arousal during sex. Many men may secretly crave more vocal feedback from their partner, such as compliments, encouragement, or even talking dirty. This open expression of desire can put to rest any insecurities they might have about a technique they are trying or their performance and elevate their confidence during intimate moments.  

Encourage your partner to openly express their pleasure and desires, and don't shy away from offering verbal appreciation yourself. By fostering a space in which both partners can openly vocalize their arousal and enjoyment, you enhance your connection and sexual satisfaction. 

5. Men may be interested in using male sex toys

Even though sexual wellness and sex toys have become more widely accepted, there is still a stigma to men using sex toys for their own pleasure. Using male sex toys can enhance their sensations, arousal, and excitement as it might be a novel experience for them.  

Consider asking your male partner if this is something they desire or would consider. You can even turn it into a sexy couple’s activity by shopping for one together and planning all the different ways to use it on him.  


Uncovering the unspoken desires of men in the bedroom opens up a world of potential for deeper connections, heightened pleasure, and more satisfying sexual experiences. By engaging in open dialogue and offering a non-judgmental, understanding space for your partner to express their desires, you can create an environment in which both of you can explore your fantasies with courage and confidence. 

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