What Is Demisexuality And How Does It Work?

Uncover the world of demisexuality and understand its unique characteristics, emphasizing the importance of emotional bonds for genuine sexual attraction!

Published Jul 26 2023 3 min read

In today's increasingly open and inclusive society, understanding and appreciating the diverse range of sexual orientations and preferences is essential. Demisexuality, a lesser-known and often-misunderstood term within the spectrum of human sexuality, stands out as a unique and fascinating way individuals can experience attraction and intimacy. Join us as we venture through the intricacies of demisexuality, providing valuable insights into this orientation. 

What is demisexuality? 

Demisexuality—part of the asexuality spectrum—is characterized by an individual's need for a strong emotional bond with someone before experiencing genuine sexual attraction. Unlike the traditional concept of sexuality, where physical attraction often plays a significant role, demisexuality derives its foundation from deep emotional connections. 

Demisexuality is unique in that it highlights the crucial role emotional connections play in forming sexual attraction. For demisexual individuals, a deep and meaningful bond with someone is necessary for sexual desires to emerge. It's important to note that demisexuality is not synonymous with feeling sexually attracted only to romantic partners. Rather, it emphasizes the prerequisite of emotional closeness, which could arise from various relationships, such as friendships or even professional connections.   

Debunking myths surrounding demisexuality  

As with most lesser-known aspects of human sexuality, demisexuality tends to be surrounded by misconceptions and confusion. Let's debunk some of the most common myths:

1. Demisexuality is synonymous with prudishness or a lack of sex drive

This common misconception overlooks the central facet of demisexuality—the necessity of emotional bonds for sexual attraction to emerge. Demisexual individuals can possess healthy and strong sex drives, but their attraction is contingent upon connecting with someone on a deeper emotional level.  

2. Demisexuality is a choice or a reaction to past experiences

Demisexuality is an intrinsic sexual orientation, much like heterosexuality, homosexuality, or bisexuality. It is not a conscious decision or a response to past traumas or experiences. 

 3. All demisexual people crave committed relationships

While emotional connections are vital for demisexual individuals to feel sexually attracted to someone, this doesn't mean they automatically seek long-term or committed relationships. Like anyone else, demisexual people have their preferences and desires when it comes to relationships and attachment styles.  

By dispelling these myths, we can encourage more accurate, empathetic, and respectful conversations surrounding demisexuality.  

Tips for navigating relationships with demisexuals 

Finding compatible partners and nurturing relationships can be challenging for demisexual individuals, given the significance of emotional connections in their attraction. Here are some tips to help navigate the complexities of demisexual relationships:  

1. Communicate openly

As with any relationship, open and honest communication is key. Share your demisexual identity with potential partners to ensure mutual understanding and establish a foundation of trust.  

2. Be patient

Recognize that emotional connections may take time to form, and that's okay. Allow yourself the space and time needed to develop a deep emotional bond before deciding to pursue a romantic or intimate relationship. 

3. Seek like-minded individuals or communities

Connecting with others who share your values and experiences can be encouraging and validating. Look for online forums, support groups, or social circles where demisexuality is acknowledged and respected. 

Understanding and supporting demisexual loved ones  

If you have a demisexual friend, family member, or partner, it's crucial to offer understanding and support. Here are a few tips to help:  

  1. Educate yourself: Take the time to learn more about demisexuality, and listen to the experiences and perspectives of demisexual individuals you know. 
  1. Validate their feelings and experiences: Acknowledge that demisexuality is a legitimate and natural orientation. Recognize that emotional connections are vital to their experience of attraction and intimacy. 
  1. Be patient and understanding: If your loved one is demisexual, understand that their personal journey may differ from yours. Allow them the space and time to develop emotional connections before embarking on deeper levels of intimacy. 


Demisexuality underscores the significance of emotional bonds in cultivating genuine sexual attraction and highlights the multifaceted ways individuals can feel connected to one another. By exploring the world of demisexuality, debunking common myths, and offering guidance for navigating relationships and supporting loved ones, we encourage empathy, understanding, and appreciation for the broad range of human experiences. Ultimately, the journey through the intricacies of demisexuality invites everyone to realize the beauty and complexity of love, attraction, and intimacy in our ever-evolving world.  

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