Prioritise Your Pleasure, To Welcome A New Sex Life, For A New You, This New Year!
Bad sex is so last year. This year, make your pleasure a priority and take significant steps towards a better sex life. Keep your relationship with yourself and others fresh by trying new things. But where to start? Here are 20 ways to improve your sex life in 2019.
We are counting down from 20, for your ultimate sexual fulfilment in 2019! Pick out your favourites, or dream up your own and be sure to try them out.
New Sexual Curiosities
Make a commitment to yourself to learn something new about sexuality. This could be about kinks you didn’t know existed, or the top fantasies for women.
Looking outside of your own sexual norms and sexual orientation can expand your horizons for a better sex life. To get you started, here’s everything you need to know about dating bisexuals.
You can always go back to basics…unless you fall down that sexual rabbit hole of no return.
New Sex-Inspiring Books to Become a Sexpert
Once you have some fresh inspiration, become a sexpert by researching up on it. The internet is your oyster. Books can also open you up to a whole new world of pleasurable possibilities. It could be a book on Tantric sex, or purely some erotic fiction.
To get you started we have already compiled a list of 7 books on how to improve your sex life.
New Sexual Self-Care Routine
Take the time to be sensual with yourself. Indulge in romantic bubble baths. Pour in some essential oils. Ylang Ylang and Jasmine are known to be wonderfully aphrodisiac aromas for boosting the libido. Inhale the fragrances to and dunk your entire body to fully enjoy their rejuvenating properties.
New Erogenous Zones
According to Monica in the TV series Friends, there are 7 pleasure points. However, as there are 1,000 nerve endings per square inch on the skin, technically anywhere on your body can become an erogenous zone. With an average surface area of 2 square meters of skin on a person; that makes up a damn whole lot of nerve endings just waiting to be stimulated.
In fact, this new study found a diversity of orgasms that come in varied forms of sensory stimulation, including non-sexual parts of the body.
For a better sex life, and potentially non-genital orgasms, try becoming totally mindful in your body by doing a body scan from your head to your toes. Imagine someone massaging each part. Where feels the most exciting to be touched? Maybe it’s the nape of your neck. Or your ankle?
Incorporate a feather or the Wartenberg Pinwheel for you or your partner to tickle different parts of your body. Tune in and notice if any parts of your body trigger a sensual response.
New Masturbation Techniques
Once you have located new erogenous zones, incorporate these into your masturbation. Focus on touching that area for an extended period of time while fantasising or watching porn. Listening to audio-porn can be a great way to get the imagination going while you are stimulating your senses.
If you have sensitive nipples, massage them and notice the build up of sexual energy in your genitals – resist temptation to touch down there and you may come to experience a nipple orgasm!
One of the most underrated pleasure points we discovered is the male perineum, which you can stimulate for extended pleasure.
New Sexual Health
When prioritising your pleasure, you also must prioritise your sexual health. Regular check ups with the sexual health clinic will keep your mind and body at rest from potentially harmful maladies.
It is essential to look after genitals. Make sure you use good pH balancing products. That includes lubes, soaps and creams. You wouldn’t put an irritant on the rest of your body, so don’t on your most sensitive areas.
Sexual health also comes with exercise. As well as your fitness class, your Kegel exercises will ensure a better sex life for everyone. Men and people with penises benefit from stronger erections, reduced erectile dysfunction and enhanced pleasure. Women and people with vulvas benefit from more pelvic control during penetration, stronger orgasms and increased blood flow which means more sensation and lubrication.
New Sense of Humour
Why so serious? The kink community calls sex “adult play” for a reason. Sex should be fun – and even funny, with all the unexpected fluids and noises! So it’s okay to laugh in those moments. Just don’t make the person or people you are in bed with embarrassed or upset. Create a friendly atmosphere.
Alix Fox has a whole BBC Radio 1 show called Unexpected Fluids, diving straight into the icky sticky parts of sex – so you can feel totally normal when it happens to you!
New Sexual Demands
Prioritising your pleasure doesn’t come without demanding it for yourself. Don’t accept anything less than what you want or deserve. This can be done by communicating physically or verbally how you like to be touched and when something doesn’t feel so good.
If you find this difficult, here are our simple techniques for asking, or showing what you want in bed.
New Sex Positions
Think you’ve tried them all? Think again, flip it and reverse it. Break out of your routine, and mix it up. Just check out our playbook for some inspiration.
Communicate what positions feel good and experiment with even minute changes to your regular moves. Even sliding a pillow underneath, or squeezing your legs tighter can be enough to hit a different pleasure point! Remember what you learnt with your new erogenous zones and incorporate those.
Are your toys gathering dust at the bottom of your drawer? Investing in a new vibrator is a great way to improve your sex life with yourself or with a partner. Maybe you are in a new relationship and need to go sex toy shopping together, make it a date!
Whether that’s a body-adaptable smart vibrator like Crescendo, or a wearable smart vibrator like Tenuto, these can be used to enhance your pleasure either alone or with a partner. Here are just 7 creative ways to play with MysteryVibe’s vibrators.
If you are excited about your new erogenous zones, maybe try some vibrating nipple clamps or a vibrating butt plug.
New Sex Spots
Sex in the bedroom is so 2018. Right? This year why not explore outside. Maybe in the garden? Or bring your sex into the kitchen and incorporate aphrodisiac foods while you’re at it.
The only limits to this are the risks of getting caught in public… but if you have a desire for voyeurism, then maybe one of these sex parties will tickle your fancy: Killing Kittens, Torture Garden, Pleasure Island Parties.
After the sex party, bring it back home and into the shower. Though this can be quite difficult, here’s some shower sex positions that do actually work!
Role play in uniform. Or have Easter come early and jump into a furry costume with that bunny tail butt plug you bought on your sex toy shopping date.
Are you used to being in your birthday suit during sex. Maybe you’re black stockings have a few holes in them from wear and tear. In either case, check out Burgundy Fox’s tailored lingerie. Explore more BDSM styles with chokers, collars, harnesses – and show them off at the next Torture Garden.
New Sexy Hobbies
Learn a new skill outside of the bedroom that can help you in the bedroom. Sign up to fetish.com to find all your local kinky activities. There are things like shibari rope bondage workshops where you can learn some new knots to tie up your partner with.
Strengthen your core and take up pole dancing. This can be a super hot way to learn some seductive skills. Attend a naked life drawing class or even becoming a nude model can boost your sexual self confidence. This is also a great way to meet new people.
New Dating Rules
Just remember, if you are single and dating, it is important listen to yourself. Particularly when society tells you “when you should have sex with someone”, and how “waiting will earn their respect”.
The truth of the matter is if it feels right in the moment to have sex, then do it. If you want to wait, then do so on your own terms – not to keep the other person interested, they will either want to see you again or not.
New Dating Apps
With a new dating app coming out every week, the “plenty of fish” saying has never been more accurate.
New Kink Apps
If you are looking for a threesome, both feeld and 3Fun are great apps for finding open-minded singles and couples nearby! These dynamics can get super complicated so find out here how to have the perfect threesome.
There are plenty of kink dating apps. Or go online, as fetish.com have seriously listed them all. From vanilla, to voyeurism, to veins – you name it, there is a whole online kink community waiting for you.
New Couples Apps
By using games and sending “e-loves”, Desire is a great app for couples wanting to keep things fresh in the bedroom. You can spice things up by sending erotic dares for your partner to complete, making naughty plans and giving them a time limit to gain points.
New Conversations (Not Just With Your Partner)
Whether this is with your friends, loved ones or even family members (of course without crossing any personal boundaries), breaking taboos around the conversation of sex and sexuality will have a wholly positive effect on your sex life.
It doesn’t have to get too into the personal details, but you will quickly come to realise just how normal sex is. Talking about it openly is so important for helping society to overcome our inherited stigma and shame.
New-Found Sexual Confidence
Confidence is sexy, and a better sex life will come with confidence, creating a positive feedback loop. Confidence can be found very simply – even for the shyest of people. There are many studies that show people’s boost in confidence from holding their body upright, which is called “Power Posing.”
From knowing your own wants and needs, to communicating how you like to be touched clearly, to self satisfaction, here are Hayley Quinn’s 3 tips on how to be sexually confident.
New Sex Mantra
Pick a few of your favourite resolutions from our list – or maybe you’ve thought up your own – and turn it into a single mantra. Anytime you feel a little lost in the bedroom, or fed up with your sex life repeat it out loud or write it down. It could be anything from:
- “I choose to explore my wild side”
- or “I know where it feels good to be touched”
- how about “I prioritise my pleasure”
- “I promise to communicate about what I like and don’t like in bed”
Remember, for a better sex life, you must put in the sexy work! Have a very Happy New Year!