In a long-term relationship, there's nothing more exciting than finding something new that absolutely blows your partner's mind. You love the idea of inducing an orgasm that he's still fantasizing about weeks later (and then finding ways to make it even better!). Whether you've started to feel that things have gotten a little flat in the bedroom or you're just looking for a way to bring in some spice and make things even brighter, try some of these creative strategies for bringing your man even more sexual pleasure.
1. Talk About Sex (Early and Often)
Have something special planned for your guy this evening? Don't just start talking about it when he comes through the door at night. Talk about it early and often! This can create a sense of arousal that starts in the morning and lasts the entire day. Try some of these creative strategies:
Give him a hint before he gets in the shower. Let him know that you have special plans waiting for him in the evening--and then dance away to finish getting ready.
Send a text message at lunchtime. Let your guy know that you're thinking about him--or perhaps fantasizing about him is more accurate. Get a little flirty and have some fun with it.
Whisper in his ear at dinner time. As you get older, you may have kids to think about, which means you can't just sneak off to the bedroom before you have dinner. Whisper what you'd like to do to him later.
Leave a new toy or lingerie sitting out where he can see it. The sight alone will have him fantasizing about what he's going to do to--and with--you later in the evening.
Tuck a pair of panties in his work bag. Make sure they're far enough down that they're unlikely to fall out unexpectedly! Add a note that lets him know that you're thinking about him--and that you have big plans for when he gets home.
Stop in the middle of your couples' workout to let him know what you'd like to do to him. Compliment the body parts you like best, and make sure you bend over in his favorite workout leggings to display everything you've got to full advantage.
Talk about your fantasies. Get a better idea of what both of you fantasize about: the good, the bad, the dirty. Some fantasies are meant to stay fantasies--but that doesn't mean that you can't talk about them in an effort to get each other riled up!
2. Get More Comfortable with Yourself
Let's face it: there's nothing sexier than a woman who is truly comfortable in her own skin. Instead of trying to hide under the blankets, you're willing to let him take in your body. Men are highly visual, and they love looking at you--especially as you show off your comfort in your own body. As you grow more comfortable, try some of these great strategies:
Go lingerie shopping together. Let him pick out some things he'd love to see on you, and then invite him to tell you what he likes about each one. You can always snap a quick picture of yourself in the dressing room if he isn't allowed in with you!
Stretch out in his favorite sexy position while waiting for him to come to bed. Chances are, you already know which positions are his favorites. Show off his favorite body part or model a new nightgown. Bonus points if you're already aroused while you're waiting for him!
Learn how to give a striptease. It's not just about taking off your clothes. When you learn how to turn stripping into a sensuous dance--and have fun doing it--you'll bring a new level of fun and pleasure to the bedroom. This is an even better striptease than he would get in a strip club: you, he's allowed to touch!
Show him what you like. Many women are too uncomfortable with their own bodies to ask for the things that they really want in bed--but the truth is, it turns your man on when he's able to turn you on! Explore your own body, then show him what you've learned. Blowing your mind will help blow his, too--and make your mutual satisfaction that much more intense.
Masturbate in front of him. You're not just playing show and tell: you're letting him watch and seeking to blow his mind while you do it.
3. Get Comfortable with His Body (All Over Again)
When you've been in an established relationship for a long time, you may think that you know his body inside and out. The reality, however, is that your body is constantly changing, and so is his. You might discover things that you didn't know gave him pleasure--and he might be just as surprised as you are! Approach his body like you're learning about it for the first time. Try some of these techniques:
Stroke his perineum. The stretch of skin between the balls and anus is extremely sensitive. If you want to increase his pleasure in bed, instead of going straight for the known hot spots, spend some time stroking the skin there. You can caress, kiss, or lick, varying the pressure to see what arouses him the most. Using vibration can also help add another element of pleasure that will be sure to wow him.
Learn how to give a prostate massage. Depending on his level of comfort with anal play, you may find that stimulating the prostate from the outside, via the perineum, is more effective. With some high-quality lube and a little patience, however, you may both discover that a prostate massage can be arousing--and it will bring him to orgasm in a way that blows his mind. Start by massaging around the anus, stimulating gently. When you feel him start to relax, you can ask if he's ready for penetration. Then, slowly ease in a finger or vibrator. The expression on his face will tell you when you've found your mark!
Give him a whole-body massage. Start with his shoulders and work your way down to his feet. The first time down, barely caress over the private parts. As you come back up, give special attention to the areas where he's most sensitive. Look for any unexpected erogenous zones as you work your way down his body. For example, some men find that a foot massage brings on a whole new level of arousal. Others deeply enjoy a deep butt massage. When you know what turns him on, use it on a regular basis.
Blindfold him. Do you want his attention locked on what you're doing to him? Try blindfolding him. He won't have any idea what's coming next, which can create its own unique levels of arousal. This is also a great time to experiment with temperature play: use ice cubes, breathe on him or try a feather to tickle his fancy...and a few other parts.
Slow down as he nears orgasm. By now, you know your guy well enough to know when he's getting close. Maybe his breath starts coming a little faster, or you can feel goosebumps starting to slide across his flesh. Normally, those are signals for you to speed up and help push him over the edge. If you want to create a mind-blowing orgasm, however, instead of speeding up, slow down. You can stop completely and begin stimulation in another area, or you can simply slow down the pace a little, making him wait a little longer. Each time you stop or slow down, you make his orgasm a little more intense.
4. Take Sex Out of the Bedroom
Don't get me wrong: the bedroom is a great place for sex. It's comfortable, it's private, and you both know what you like. When you're looking to spice things up and blow his mind, however, try taking the sex out of the bedroom. Try some of these tips.
Use the kitchen counter. It's not just for cooking. It may just be at exactly the right height for a little sexy action. Hop up on the counter and wrap your legs around his waist. If the counter falls at just the right height, you may both be in for a wild ride.
Try the floor. Being able to move around more without risk of falling off the bed may just bring out your creative side.
Use the back of the car. No, you don't have to pull out all the stops in the back seat like you're in high school, though that might just blow both of your minds. Instead, try giving him a handjob or blow job--easier on the back, but still incredibly arousing, especially with the minor risk of discovery.
Sneak outside. Make sure you bring along plenty of blankets to spread on the ground so that you don't end up with grass, sticks, or dirt in uncomfortable places!
Drop into his office. Does he have a private office with decent soundproofing--and a lock on the door? His desk could be the perfect place to spice up your love life (and put a smile on his face for the rest of the day).
Spicing up your love life doesn't have to be complicated. With these simple strategies and suggestions, you can take your guy to new heights and find ways to blow his mind. Need more help? Contact us at Mystery Vibe today to learn how we can help you launch him into outer space.