Just because you have endometriosis doesn’t mean that you have to say goodbye to penetrative sex. One of the most common symptoms of endometriosis is pain during sex, which leads people to avoid intimacy altogether. However, there are ways to minimize this pain and make sex enjoyable again through sexual aids and sex positions designed for people with endometriosis. With some creativity in the bedroom, communication and these best sex positions when you have endometriosis, you can get back to enjoying sex!
As endometriosis is an individualized condition, which positions are considered best will vary person-to-person but generally sex positions that involve shallow penetration are most comfortable. For most women with endometriosis, the uterus is tilted backward causing pain during deep or energetic sex. The sex positions below are a guide to what many people with endometriosis have found works for them, but everyone is unique so don’t be disheartened if you need to customize these sex positions to make them work for you.
1. Spooning Sex
For some women with endometriosis, deep penetration is what makes sex so painful. To have sex while spooning, you need to lay on your side and your partner cuddles up behind you in the same position. Penetration is shallower in this position, which usually causes less pain and is good for those with endometriosis. Enhance your pleasure further by adding a bendable vibrator like Poco to ensure you’re hitting those high notes.
2. Face-to-Face Sex
Face-to-face sex such as the missionary position allows you to communicate with your partner better and let them know if the depth and speed are working for you. If this position feels good, you could try to throw one leg over your partner to expose your clitoris and make things a little more pleasurable for you.
3. Reverse Cowgirl
With this position, you are in total control. Straddle your partner with your back facing towards them as they lie on their back. Because you are on top, you get to set the speed and the rhythm. You also get to decide how deep your partner goes inside of you. You can ease into things at first, then go faster and have deeper penetration when, and if, you feel you can handle it.
To add a little more comfort to this position, you can lean forward, resting your hands beside your partner's legs, which will put the penis at a different position when it is inside of you.
4. Modified Doggie Style Sex
Because of the deep penetration, doggie style is not really a sex position for people with endometriosis. But if you do miss it, there is still a way to get all of the benefits of doggie style without having to endure the pain.
Instead of being on your hands and knees, lie flat on your stomach. Your partner then lies on top of you and enters you from behind. Penetration is much more shallow in this position than it is with traditional doggie style, but the position is also very intimate and pleasurable for you both.
5. Sex In The Shower
Getting hot and steamy in the shower is definitely a fun way to have sex, and you can explore plenty of shower sex positions. For people with endometriosis, it isn't just fun, it can also be very beneficial. Having the hot water run over your body can help relax your muscles and reduce any pain that you may have from the penetration. If standing up doesn't work for you, you can always try the bathtub or Jacuzzi.
Tips to remember when having sex: To help make sex even more enjoyable, be sure to use plenty of lubrication. Engage in foreplay beforehand to get yourself naturally lubricated and apply lubricant to your partner to ensure that he is able to slip in and out with ease. Also, different positions will work better for some people than they do others. Make sure that your partner is aware that sex may be uncomfortable for you and that you will need to try different positions to figure out which one works best for you.
Things that increase pleasure during sex with endometriosis
1. Crescendo 2
Crescendo 2 is a great bendable vibrator for people with endometriosis. Its innovative design allows you to use your hands to bend it into different shapes, which can help you navigate towards what feels best and have an enjoyable sexual experience. Not to mention its vibration technology and end-to-end motors stimulate more of your erogenous zones, for more pleasure. Doctors recommend this vibrator because it's backed by science to improve arousal and lubrication - two things very important to enjoying intimacy with endometriosis. Crescendo is also designed for both internal and external stimulation, so if penetration is causing you discomfort, then switch gears and try clitoral stimulation instead.
2. Tenuto 2
Tenuto 2 is a wearable vibrator for men, and it can help with intimacy in several ways. First, since it’s worn around the penis, it can restrict depth of penetration when worn. And as Tenuto 2 is a vibrating, the front three motors stimulate the entire vulva, labia, and clitoris during sex, helping improve arousal and lubrication in a novel way – all hands-free.
3. Legato
If penetration is uncomfortable, or you need more foreplay and arousal prior or during penetration, Legato is a great tool. Legato is a vulva vibrating ring that sits on the outside of the vulva and vibrates the perimeter. The gentle vibrations are dispersed across a broader erogenous area, helping arousal spread across every inch instead of pinpointed stimulation. This vibrator is also recommended by doctors for its science-backed ability to increase arousal and lubrication naturally, which can be helpful for sex with endometriosis. Additionally, the center of this vibrating ring is large enough for a partner to fit through, meaning it can be used during sex to continue to provide stimulation to help the experience remain enjoyable.
4. Lubricant
To help make sex even more enjoyable, be sure to use plenty of lubrication. Engage in foreplay beforehand to get yourself naturally lubricated and apply lubricant to your partner to ensure that they are able to slip in and out with ease.
Talking to your partner about sex
When it comes to having sex, making sure that you and your partner are on the same page is critical. Your partner may understand that your condition causes you to feel fatigued and uncomfortable, be he also needs to know how you are feeling while having sex.
1. Don't be afraid to communicate
It can be uncomfortable having to talk in detail about your sex life. But you need to remember, your partner can't help if he doesn't understand the extent of your pain. When talking about endometriosis, be sure to be as descriptive as possible. Let him know what your pain is like during penetration, how it feels when you have sex at a fast pace and a slow pace, and what positions cause you the most pain.
You should also let your partner know what to expect after sex. If you start to feel pain after you have finished, be sure to let him know. Also, don't be afraid to tell him that your endometriosis could cause you to bleed during intercourse. Once he is able to truly understand every aspect of your condition, he will be able to work with you to find solutions.
2. Come up with a plan together
Once your partner has a good idea about how uncomfortable sex can be for you, tell him that you would like for the two of you to work together and find a way to make sex enjoyable again. Make sure to tell him what you are comfortable with trying and try to find out what he is comfortable with too. Then, together, the two of you can experiment until you find a way to have sex that you both enjoy. Also, while you are having sex, be sure to tell him at the exact moment that you start to feel pain. This will help him to quickly understand what is okay to try and what is not.
3. Plan ahead
Endometriosis does not usually cause extreme pain on a continuous basis. Fortunately, there are times when your endometriosis symptoms will ease up a bit. Usually, women report their symptoms being much better about two weeks after their period. Try to plan your sexual activities for a time when your symptoms will be the least severe. Having to mark a date on your calendar for lovemaking probably doesn't seem that romantic. However, by picking the perfect time, you will be more inclined to try out new things to see which one works the best for you.
Takeaway
Sometimes it’s not about having less sex, it’s about having sex differently. A shift in position, depth, or pace can turn something that once felt tense or uncomfortable into something you actually look forward to again. Endometriosis may mean being more intentional about how you approach intimacy and a willingness to experiment until you find what works for you, but there are tools out there to support you, like doctor-recommended vibrators designed to enhance arousal. Explore what’s available, try what feels right, and build a sex life that works with your body - not against it.
