After the honeymoon phase wears off, many people find that it's harder to initiate sex. One half of the couple may feel as though they're always the one to initiate. The other half might worry that they'll get turned down. Want to know how to initiate sex in a way that will help turn your partner on and increase the excitement between you? Try some of these strategies to enhance your relationship and improve your sex life.
1. Walk in wearing your favorite lingerie (or nothing at all).
While, obviously, you can't walk into the living room in the buff if you have roommates or children at home, this is a great way to appeal to a long-term partner when you're alone in the house. Can't sneak out into the common areas of your home wearing a fancy outfit? Consider stretching out across the bed and waiting for your partner to arrive. Make sure to read your partner's mood! While showing up in lingerie or naked is a great way to get things started when you and your partner are both feeling a little sexy, it might not work as well as you'd hoped when your partner is feeling tired or just not in the mood.
2. Get things started on your own.
Know that you're going to be slipping to bed a little before your partner? Try getting things started before your partner joins you. You can stimulate yourself manually or break out your vibrator. Using Crescendo, for example, can be a great way to stimulate yourself gently, increasing arousal without necessarily going all the way to orgasm before your partner can join you. Once your partner enters the room, offer a sexy smile, and invite them to join you. Discover more reasons to let your partner watch you masturbate here.
3. Start with a sensual massage.
After a long, hard day, sometimes, it's hard to imagine getting excited about sex, which can take additional energy your partner might not feel they have. Often, however, you can encourage arousal and benefit your partner at the same time by offering a sensual massage. Break out a great massage oil like the Sliquid Escape Organics Massage Oil and treat your partner to a sensual massage that slowly builds sexual tension for both of you.
4. Get physical.
Some people—both men and women—are quickly turned on by an invitation that starts physically. In a long-term physical relationship, you already know how your partner is likely to respond if you shove them up against the wall for a long, hard kiss or reach for your partner and squeeze their butt or engage in a little fondling. If you know your partner will enjoy it, try initiating sex with purely physical contact. Get close to your partner, show them how much you want them, and get started with a touch. Don't know whether your partner will like it or not? Talk about it beforehand so that you'll know how your partner will respond before you issue a potentially touchy invitation.
5. Tell your partner what you want.
"I'd love to bend you over the bed and have my way with you right now." "You know, I'd really love to taste you right now." Issue a verbal invitation that tells your partner exactly what you're fantasizing about and how you'd like to enjoy them. Open the discussion with a clear, honest assessment of exactly what you'd like from your partner and what you'd like to do. Not only does this take the guesswork out, but it can also let your partner know exactly what you want. In a committed sexual relationship, you likely already have an idea of what your partner enjoys or how they'd like to connect with you. Go ahead and get things started with an invitation they won't be able to turn down.
6. Talk about it throughout the day.
Do you want to ramp up the sexual tension and encourage your partner to connect with you throughout the day? Consider talking about sex long before the evening arrives and you're ready to crawl into bed together. Send a sexy text in the middle of the day. Whisper an invitation in your partner's ear as you make dinner together. Cuddle up on the couch and murmur sweet nothings together. This strategy can help build up the tension and get your partner thinking about sex, which means that when you reach for them at the end of the day, you'll be more likely to get a warm reception.
7. Start with a kissing marathon.
Kissing your partner is an innocent gesture, but it's also a very intimate one. As you continue kissing, both of you can feel the tension starting to mount. Bring your partner close to you and turn that kiss into an invitation. As sexual tension rises, you can transition to the bedroom—or skip the bedroom and enjoy sex right where you are.
8. Run a bath or turn on the shower.
Run a bath or turn on the shower for your partner. Invite them to join you, or encourage them to take some time to relax and unwind with the full knowledge that you'll be waiting when they get out. Getting warm and clean can help your partner relax, while getting clean together can allow you to start building excitement for that moment when you'll slip off to the bedroom together—or progress to sex from right where you are. If you're running your partner a bath, consider leaving your Crescendo in a convenient spot, then encouraging your partner to get excited while they think about you. It will be time to join them before you know it!
9. Engage in your partner's favorite form of sensual touch.
Your partner's favorite erotic zones may vary based on their specific needs and desires. Take the time to get to know what your partner likes most and how you can turn them on. Let him rest his head in your lap while you're watching television together and run your hands through his hair or give him a scalp massage. Brush her hair for her. Give a fantastic foot massage that has your partner moaning and wanting more. Often, those sensual touches will help raise arousal and encourage your partner to join you in the bedroom.
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