Do you remember the first time you used a vibrator? It was glorious, wasn't it? How many times have you done it since?
Some of us can't seem to get enough of vibrators. Some women use vibrators so often that they start getting worried that something may go wrong. The biggest worry on most women's minds is that they will become desensitized – essentially being incapable of enjoying sex and orgasming with a human partner. There is even a term for it: dead vagina syndrome.
So, is it true that using a vibrator too often can desensitize your lady parts? Here we dispel the myths and set the facts straight.
Relax, You're Safe
No, using a vibrator too much will not desensitize you and keep you from enjoying sex with human partners. In fact, dead vagina syndrome is just another term coined to give this fear more credibility.
It is common for women to feel somewhat numb to other sex experiences after many one-on-one sessions with their vibrators. Every woman (including women who are not as adventurous as you are) experiences it at some point in their lives.
The vibrator, as such, is free of blame. Myisha Battle, a certified sex & and dating coach at Allbodies, explains, "Regular use of a vibrator will not impact a person with a vulva's ability to experience sexual pleasure. Even if you use a vibrator every day, multiple times a day, your body will return to baseline a few minutes after each session or orgasm."
So, Why the Numb Feeling?
As explained, your sex drive and sensation should return to baseline after each session. This may be a few minutes or a couple of hours. The dulling sensation may linger a little longer in some women.
Vibrators reach places that even the most majestic pecker couldn't. They are also capable of vibrating at intense speeds–this is the secret to those glorious orgasms. Your lady parts know it, and they are sort of getting used to the intensity. Over time, it feels that anything else that isn't as intense just isn't enough.
Dr. Zhana Vrangalova, Ph.D., a professor of human sexuality at New York University, explains, "The nerve endings in the genital area get so used to this very high and fast vibration – they get conditioned, in a way–that slower and less-intense sensations just don't do the trick."
If this describes how you are feeling, don't give up on the human experience just yet. The solution is simple: wait. Actually, it is a bit more complicated than that because you will have to keep your toys locked away for some time.
"If you fall into this camp, the fix is simply to take a break from using high-powered vibrators and test out other modes of self-pleasure," says Dr. Vrangalova. She continues, "If someone's nerve endings were responsive to other forms of stimulation before starting to use vibrators, they would still be responsive."
This, however, doesn't mean that you have to go sex-starved as you wait. The problem is the vibrator's intense vibrations, so other solo experiments are a go. For example, you can go all-natural and use your hands (and lots of lube). You can also try out non-vibrating dildos. If the urge becomes too much to bear, you can also get out your favorite vibrator and keep the setting to low–don't get carried away now!
Could It All Be In Your Head?
Our sexual makeup is sophisticated (and somewhat complicated). We care about more than just sex. Emotions, hormones, and many other factors have a say in whether or not we are into it.
For women, the brain is a crucial sex organ. Dr. Alyssa Dweck, a gynecologist based in New York City, and the author of The Complete A to Z for Your V, has done exhaustive research on the subject. She says, "It is no surprise that one of the biggest sex organs–if not the biggest sex organ–for women is their brain."
The underlying argument here is that your brain can become "conditioned," just like your clitoris has been. As Dr. Dweck explains, "If you're focused on the notion that you can only climax alone with a vibrator, it very well may end up being a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you're using a vibrator yourself, where you want it and the way you want it, then you become accustomed to that experience."
This means that you unfairly don't think that anything else can make you climax. You believe this in your mind, and this notion block all the vital receptors needed to get you into the moment. The solution here is more complicated than putting the vibrator away and waiting to readjust to baseline. It calls for a re-conditioning of the mind, as explained in detail below.
Tips to Get Back on the Horse
So, what do you do if nothing else does the job better than your vibrator? Time is not always the remedy, as mentioned. Here are a few tips that can help bring back the spice in your sex life:
Talk to Your Partner
Do you know that most women fake orgasms at least half of the time they have sex? This is according to a recent study. This is sad, especially considering that these women can enjoy sex every time instead of faking it.
The most likely problem is that your partner is not handling you the way you would like them to. You call all the shots during your solo sessions with your vibrator, which is why it feels perfect every time. Perhaps all you need, then, is more say in how it goes down?
Unfortunately, people are shy when it comes to talking about bedroom matters. The very thought of it elicits some of the most embarrassing questions. "Will my partner think I am a freak?" you may ask yourself. The hesitation is natural, but the fear may be a barrier to what could become an amazing sex life. It's so important to overcome your fear and tell your partner exactly what you want them to do.
So, how do you approach such a sensitive topic? Dr. Logan Levkoff, a sex expert with Shape, suggests being indirect and playful about it. For example, you can approach the topic by talking about a video you saw or an article you read. Be mindful of the words you use so as not to hurt your partner's ego–don't make them feel like they don't have what it takes to satisfy you as this will only make things worse.
The timing is also critical. This is not a conversation that you should have over dinner or over a long drive. The setting should be just right, and what other time better than when you are doing it. This allows you to not only talk about it but also try it. In fact, you don't have to say a word – take charge for a change and lead your partner as you wish.
Team Experiments, Anyone?
What got you to experiment with a vibrator in the first place? Do you feel like something is lacking in the bedroom? Maybe it is time to shake things up and try out new things.
Sex between two partners, like any other activity, eventually becomes monotonous. Most partnerships hit a snag at some point during the course of their duration. Sadly, it takes longer than it should for couples to consider "unconventional" experiments.
The idea of trying out elaborate experiments may also elicit fear that your partner will judge you in a negative light. Fear, as mentioned earlier, should not stop you–unless you don't mind the miserable sex life. The answer may be better than you think.
Research shows that most couples in relationships are open to new sexual experiences. In fact, many couples in long-term relationships regularly act out these sex experiments. Favorites include playing other characters and, of course, using sex toys. This means that your vibrator can join you!
Again, this will require you to talk to your partner about it. Be subtle about it and suggest it as an adventurous experience for you both. However, you will also need to make some concessions. After all, everyone has sexual fantasies that they keep to themselves, including your partner. You will be opening Pandora's Box, so expect some suggestions from the other party. This, however, is nothing to worry about–the more, the merrier, right?
Myth Busted! Now What?
Sex experts and doctors all agree that using a vibrator more than the next person will not desensitize you. This means that you can pleasure yourself as much as you want without the lingering fear of consequences to come. So, why not go big and get the best sex toys for solo sessions or playtime with your partner?
Here at MysteryVibe, we are all about bringing out your inner sexual self. One of the ways we do this is through our smart vibrators. Each has multiple motors and 16 levels of intensity. Some of our "ohh-inspiring" products include:
Crescendo
Crescendo is designed just for you. Its flexible design allows it to curve and bends better than any other vibrator. You (or your partner) can control this Crescendo with ease through our smart app. Crescendo has six powerful motors and incredible reach — it will open up places you have never explored before (and mind-blowing experiences).
Tenuto
Tenuto is the wearable vibrator that every man should have. That's right — this is a wearable vibrator for men. It is designed to fit any size and makes getting hard feel easy. It also features six powerful motors that are guaranteed to make your partner come. You can control it manually or via our smart app.
Poco
Fulfill your sexual fantasies on the go with Poco. This vibrator is conveniently small but also surprisingly powerful. It features two powerful motors and you can use your hands to bend it into different shapes. You can wear it on the go or pack it conspicuously with other stuff on the go.
Still Worried? It's Nothing Permanent
If, however, you feel desensitized, then consider putting these tips into practice. It will eventually wear off over time. It is also a clear sign that you need to spice things up!
