We all have different fantasies and fetishes - some more uncommon than others. But embracing what makes us unique is important especially when it comes to opening new kinky doors.
All gender identities and orientations can be kinky and what is considered kinky to you might be vanilla to someone else. It is all very unique to you! Nothing is off limits, as long as everything is practiced in a safe and consensual way.
“Fetish is heavily tied to having a psychological need for those specific objects or acts in order to experience pleasure and/or orgasm, whereas kinks can add to a sexual experience but aren’t necessarily needed to achieve sexual release.”
Whilst few studies have looked at how often people engage in sexual kinks, people often fantasize about them, which has led to a collection of some of the most common sex fetishes (in no particular order) explained. You might even find yours on the list!
1. BDSM
Standing for bondage, discipline and sado-masochism plenty of people have elements of BDSM in the bedroom already, such as spanking (impact play) or power dynamics. Since the publication of 50 Shades of Grey, the stigma associated with BDSM has massively reduced, and bondage has been thrust into the forefront of everyone’s dirty mind, and rightfully so. Research suggests those who dabbled in BDSM were found to have greater erotic satisfaction but just how popular is it? In one study, almost half of adults admitted to experimenting with BDSM. Now if that many people have experimented imagine how many are fantasizing about it?
Practicing BDSM doesn’t need to be scary, you just need a healthy amount of communication and honesty. Whether you want to explore dominance and submission or sex acts that border on masochism, make sure you are always practicing safely. In fact, you don’t need to dive in at the deep end, explore some kinky things to do in the bedroom or kinky principles, and ease yourself into BDSM.
2. Feet
As with all sexual appetites, there is no one standard of what people are into. It might be a full-blown foot fetish or you may just be curious. As reported in Psychology Today 14% of participants reported having had a sexual fantasy before in which feet or toes played a prominent role. Podophilia (the technical name) is one of the most mainstream kinks, from feet pics to porn, feet are a frequently fetishized body part. Some people like high arches, pedicured toes, soft skin, particular nail shapes, particular sizes, but as with shoes, not one size fits all.
Equally how people practice their kink is very different as receiving sexual satisfaction can come in many forms from foot treatments, such as massaging or worshipping the feet, to incorporating feet into foot foreplay.
3. Roleplay
Whilst role-playing can be a fetish or kink by itself, it is really great for acting out other kinks with partners. For example, you might enjoy the idea of meeting someone mysterious and never seeing them again, but your partner might have something to say about that. So instead why not engage in an acting scene with them, with your partner as the mysterious stranger who sweeps you off your feet for a wild night of lovemaking.
4. Watersports
These kinds of watersports aren’t wakeboarding and surfing but rather a sexual activity where urine is involved. Many people find urine play sexy because it is considered naughty, dirty, and taboo. Golden showers might seem outrageous but they are actually pretty tame in the grand scheme of things and a very common fetish for many. In one study, 23% indicated having seen urophilia porn. This prevalence in mainstream porn suggests that it is in some high demand!
People enjoy water sports for a variety of reasons - for some, it’s because of the warm, wet feeling, for others, it’s the feeling of humiliation. Whatever your reasoning, watersports are a myriad of activities involving pee and pleasure. Some people like to pee, some enjoy watching, others want to be involved themselves. There are even websites dedicated to sex workers peeing themselves for your pleasure. However you choose to play, know that you are not alone in your watersport fetish.
5. Group sex
Group sex making this list probably isn’t that surprising considering media depictions of polyamory, group sex, and sex parties have shifted away from the shadows and into the mainstream. If you have found yourself on dating apps you’ve probably come across couples looking for a ‘unicorn’ (someone to have a threesome with) but group sex is not limited to threesomes. It might be an orgy where a group of people of all genders engages in sexual activity.
A survey suggested up to 89% of respondents fantasized about group sex/threesomes one way or another. This isn’t to say these people are all involved in some way, but there are some great ways to dip your toe into group sex with your partner or alone. You can try watching group sex porn, talking dirty, role-playing and even attending sex parties. Ensure all parties involved know the ground rules and are happy to explore this sex fetish.
6. Voyeurism
According to the Journal of Sex and Research voyeurism is one of the most common sexual desires. Voyeurism is the act of watching others getting hot and heavy, which can be a huge turn-on and not as creepy as you might think. However, as with all things, voyeurism must be engaged consensually, and watching someone without their permission is never ok.
If you want to find people to watch try going to a sex party where people are actively consenting to have all eyes on them!
There are different ways to engage in voyeurism and trying it out with your partner might be a great way to spice up your sex life. From watching your partner masturbate or seeing them in the shower, to more intense ways of exploring voyeurism such as bringing in an extra person to the bedroom.
7. Exhibition
Taking sex out of the bedroom is a common kink for many, with 82% from this study saying they fantasized about sex in unusual places. For some men and women, this might mean moving out of the bedroom and into the living room. For others, it means sex in public such as a car park or restaurant toilet.
You can't get naked and have sex with your partner in public without the risk of getting arrested. You can, however, get a little frisky without a problem - especially if you remain fully clothed. Some of the fun in the "sex in public" fantasy might be the idea of doing something sexual and private with the high-risk element of getting caught. It doesn’t need to be sex but what about a cheeky butt grab or a long passionate kiss? Different states, countries, and regions have different laws around this so ensure you are sticking to the rules of the area you’re in so you’re not breaking the law.
8. Latex
A latex fetish is typically enjoyed in one of two ways: wearing it yourself and enjoying the feeling of being bound by the latex or getting aroused by the sight of others in latex. These usually intertwine, rather than being exclusive.
Latex is similar to skin - smooth texture, elasticity, and pleasing and fits as if a second skin. This is one of the theories as to why people enjoy it so much - it sensually caresses the body whilst leaving little to the imagination.
Stay open-minded and get your freak on - you certainly aren’t alone with these common sex fetishes.
