After years together even the hottest relationship can become a little lackluster in the bedroom. Adding a little kink into the bedroom can be a great way to spice up your relationship and explore your fantasies and desires. Whether you are looking for something on the tamer side or unleashing your wild side you are sure to find something that will satisfy your sexual cravings.
Kink is very subjective - what is kinky to you might not even scratch the surface of kink to someone else. These kinky sex ideas are a great entry point to kinkier sex - some might appeal massively and others might be a huge turn-off. It is all about finding what works best for you.
How to talk about kinky sex
Don’t spring kink on someone. You and your partner may be on the same page - or you might not be! You just can’t be sure until you have had a conversation about your kinks and desires. This may feel intimidating but is certainly not a conversation to avoid as it could be holding back your sexual relationship and in turn decreasing intimacy. By sharing your desires with your partner you can expand your sexual horizons and foster a safe space to discuss your kinks and ultimately spice up your sex life.
Begin the conversation on some neutral territory when you are both feeling relaxed. Start by sharing a few of your fantasies and see how responsive they are or bring up a story about a certain kink to gage your partner's reaction, indirectly finding out how they respond to it. Take any judgement out of the conversation and keep the conversation open and honest. Avoid shaming your partner as you discuss what you and your partner are into and equally important avoid forcing them into anything - remember enthusiastic consent is necessary when engaging with any and all sexual acts.
How to prepare for kinky sex
Preparing for kinky sex is more than just getting yourself in the mood.
The first and most important thing has already been mentioned above - talking about your desires should be number one, as you want enthusiastic consent from all parties involved.
Make time to explore your kinky sex ideas, ensure you are feeling relaxed and won’t be disturbed (by kids, dogs, work emails, whatever form your mood killer is).
You can then work on setting the kink-tastic mood, from mood lighting to soft furnishings there is an abundance of ways you can make your bedroom sexy. And before you get to the main event ensure you have a safe word - this should be the norm in all sexual relationships but particularly if you are trying something new or engaging in a potentially uncomfortable sexual activity. Your chosen sage word acts as an indicator to stop or slow down if you aren’t enjoying yourself, want to stop or slow down. The traffic light system is a common set of safe words whereby green indicates “GO”, orange “PROCEED SLOWLY” and red “STOP”. It is all about finding what works for you and your partner but by pre-establishing a word that means stop you are both likely to feel more comfortable using it.
Ensure you are ready for the aftermath too - this could be physical or emotional aftercare as some kinky sex acts can take a toll on you physically and mentally. You might need some clean-up essentials or a pack of biscuits for low blood sugar. Prepare your creature comforts in advance so you aren’t arguing over who has to move from bed to go get them.
Kinky things to do during sex
Now that you are both fully prepped to add some kink into your life, here are some kinky sex ideas to sexually explore yourselves in the bedroom.
1. Blindfold
Blindfolds are quite possibly one of the sexiest things you can bring into your bedroom - relying on trust, sex sans eyesight might be a huge turn-on for you and your partner. Shutting down one sense intensifies others, which means you might be appreciating each touch, lick, and thrust more than usual. You also don’t need to spend lots of money on a sensual blindfold as chances are you have something lying around the house to create a DIY blindfold - think about a silk tie or a bandana.
2. Listen to erotica
Do you find yourself more aural than visual? If you are the type of person who enjoys reading so they can let their imagination take the reigns, listening to erotica might be a better turn-on for you than porn. Listening to sexy audio stories is a great way to set the mood and spark your imagination. Choose audio porn that you find hot - that could be dirty talk, instructional or narrative. Make it as kinky as your heart desires.
3. Sexy movie
If you don’t feel ready to watch porn with your partner why not try watching a sexy movie scene. The kind that makes you blush and gets your heart racing, this could maybe have one thing lead to another… check out these 13 sexiest movie scenes to whet your appetite.
4. Restraints
When you think kinky - restraints probably jump to mind, as a staple in BDSM scenes. Whether that is handcuffs, silk ties, shibari, or harnesses - restraints are seriously hot and kinky. Try teasing your partner whilst they are restrained, letting the desire overcome them.
5. Shibari
Japanese rope bondage is a fun way to build up sexual tension between you and your partner. When you are using rope bondage it’s usually about the want to be in control. Slowly pull the rope across their body to create friction when you are tying them up. Build the anticipation with softer and harder sensations. Mix being gentle and rough with your partner. If that doesn’t sound kinky what does? Do your research into shibari before trying some of the more advanced knots and bondage to make sure you practice safely on each other.
6. Talk dirty
Dirty talk is a great addition to the bedroom, this can ramp things up during foreplay or begin long before you make your way into the bedroom. Make it as dirty as you want, it could even lead to more things on the list.
7. Voyeurism
Voyeurism is a great way to test the water in kink - you can gauge whether you want to push your limits even further with group sex. If you and your partner have a desire for voyeurism then explore yourselves at a sex party. For some people that might be diving in too deep so instead try watching porn with your partner as a way to feel voyeuristic without the commitment.
8. Sex bucket list
Do all those things you and your partner have been wanting to do for quite some time. It could be a selection of the kinky ideas on this list or some completely out-of-the-box ideas.
9. Spanking
Tread the line of pleasure and pain. Spanking can be performed in the context of role-playing or just add to your usual sexual routine. The goal is always mutual pleasure - with the person doing the spanking enjoying doing it, and the person being spanked enjoying the sensation - or punishment.
10. Orgasm denial & edging
Orgasm denial can provide erotic experimentation, strengthening your intimacy and leading to high levels of sexual stimulation for you and your partner. Keeping you on the edge of orgasm, over, and over again, this is one seriously sexy way to keep your partner aroused for long periods of time.
11. Roleplay
What’s your fantasy? Cops n Robbers? Strangers in the night? Whatever your acting of choice this is a sure way of creating some drama in the bedroom.
12. Foot play
Foot fetishes are actually far more common than we are led to believe. Admittedly not for everyone but foot fetish, kink and worship can be incorporated into your bedroom activities however you wish. Explore ways to incorporate your feet into foreplay if sexy feet are your thing.
13. Shower sex
Get wet and wild with some steamy shower sex. We have all seen it in the movies so why not give it a go? Be sure to check out some shower-appropriate sex positions to avoid any awkward accidents happening!
14. Incorporate sex toys
Not necessarily rooted in kink but incorporating sex toys can certainly be one way to spice up your bedroom. Whether you are thinking about using a bendable vibrator to enhance clitoral stimulation, or a cock ring for some wild partnered play, or a discreet vibrator that you can enjoy on the go.
15. Anal play
Explore the potent pleasure zone that is your anus. Far too often ignored, this might be one kinky place you want to go to with your partner. Yet anal play is about more than penetration, and if you’re apprehensive diving in, try anal training as a way to test the water.
16. Explore dominance and submission
Dom and sub relationships are a fun power play dynamic, and you can choose just how kinky you want to be. From light spanking to full degrading mode - it is completely up to you how you explore submission and domination and give or take complete control of your partner.
17. Temperature play
Try adding some cold sensations to foreplay, whether that’s rubbing an ice cube all over your hot body or using the cool sensation to enhance your oral sex. Guaranteed shivers down your spine - in the best way
18. Threesome
Threesomes aren’t just one to dive into with no prior planning - but they can be seriously fun and kinky if you do them right. Make sure you and your partner discuss thoroughly if a threesome is on the cards, and read up about what a threesome is actually like and how to have the perfect threesome.
19. Sex party
Maybe you just want to watch? Or maybe you want to dive straight into an orgy? There are numerous sex parties that might tickle your fancy: Killing Kittens and Torture Garden being just a couple on the list. There is something to suit all tastes from full fetish to more suave affairs.
20. Tickle
Now tickling might not seem like the kinkiest act in the world but there is something rather sensual about a feather duster. Tickling excites your nerve endings, releases endorphins, and oxygenates your blood - it can lead to some serious arousal if done right. Some people enjoy combining tickling with wrestling for some fun power play - which might scratch your kinky itch.
21. Strip poker
Sex games can be a great way of testing your limits, and a sexy game of strip poker where the odds are of a sexual nature can be a great way to make your bedroom fun.
22. Wax play
Dripping candle wax is a really kinky turn-on - but not just any candle will do, ensure they are skin safe wax such as a soy candle. As you watch the wax drip onto your partner’s body, relish in their skin turning to goosebumps, and lightly caress them. Add a blindfold into the mix so they don’t see it coming.
23. Give your nipples some love
Nipples don’t seem to get enough attention, and by squeezing, adding pressure, licking, and sucking you could coax a nipple orgasm out.
24. Watch ethical porn
Watching porn with your partner can be very intimate and sexy. Get turned on by watching others get down and dirty and discovering new ways to play. Sourcing ethical porn also means fair pay to the sex workers doing their thing for your pleasure and is more likely to be female-centric and consensual which could appeal to you more than mainstream porn.
25. Incorporate food in the bedroom
We all know food can be an aphrodisiac but did you also know that food fetish is a very real, messy, and sexy thing. Why not try adding some chocolate sauce and whipped cream into the bedroom? Requiring some serious tongue action to lick it all off your partner, you can drizzle as much as you want all over their erogenous zones. Building up the sexual tension before treating them to some delicious oral.
Now you have a few ideas under your belt - go forth and try these kinky sex ideas that will spice up your bedroom!
