Prostate massage is having a moment, and for good reason. Turns out this wellness habit can do good and feel good at the same time.
Think the prostate is only about health? While it's an important part of male health, it's also one of the body's most overlooked erogenous zones, hence the reason it's called the male G-spot.
Prostate massage is one way to get to both health and wellness benefits. Stimulating the prostate helps support your wellness and your sex life in the same session.
It's true.
Urologists have used prostate stimulation techniques for decades, and it's just as doable at home once you know where you're going and have the right tools.
Discover where to find your prostate, how to stimulate it safely, what to use, and how prostate massage translates to stronger performance in bed and better wellness long term.
What is the prostate, and where is it?
Ask a man about the prostate and you'll usually get answers like: something involving a doctor's glove, or something to be worried about after 40 – typically these two together. But there’s a lot more involved than that.
So, let’s fill in the blanks.
Your prostate is a gland roughly the size of a walnut. It sits just below your bladder, in front of your rectum, and rests right above the muscles of the pelvic floor. Your urethra, the tube that carries urine and semen out of your body, runs directly through it.
The prostate position explains why prostate problems tend to show up as urinary issues, ejaculatory issues, or even pelvic pain.
What your prostate does
- Makes the fluid that carries and feeds your sperm, about a third of every ejaculation
- Keeps that fluid alkaline so sperm survive the acidity of the vagina
- Squeezes during orgasm to push semen out
- Produces PSA, the protein that thins semen after ejaculation so sperm can move freely.
Your prostate also doesn't stay walnut-sized. It can grow as you get older, ending up closer to the size of a lemon. Enlargement can be a normal part of aging, but when that growth causes symptoms, it becomes a clinical problem called benign prostatic hyperplasia, or BPH. It's one of the reasons behind all those warnings about turning 40.
The prostate is also packed with nerve endings, which is where the male G-spot nickname comes from. Women have a rough equivalent called the Skene's glands, sitting right next to the G-spot.
How do you find the prostate
Your prostate is easier to get to than you'd think. Only a thin wall of tissue separates it from your rectum, and it sits about two inches in.
There are two routes: internally through the rectum, or externally through the perineum.
Locating the prostate internally
Before putting anything in your butt, it’s important to understand that the anus is not self-lubricating like the vagina, so lubricant is a must.
Get aroused first. The prostate swells during arousal, which makes it bigger, firmer, and easier to locate. Penetrating when not aroused makes it harder to feel and locate.
Once you’re aroused, insert a well-lubricated finger about two inches inside your anus, aiming toward the front of your body (the belly button side). Feel around for a rounded bump, roughly the size of a walnut. It's firmer than the soft tissue around it.
Locating the prostate externally
If you’re not ready to put a finger in your anus, you can still locate your prostate indirectly without any penetration through your perineum. Your perineum is the patch of skin between your scrotum and your anus.
Press firmly upward and inward on the perineum, and you're pressing on the prostate through the skin.
It's less direct than the internal route, but it needs no prep, and it's an easy way to test the water before going further.
Benefits of prostate massage
Believe it or not, there are benefits to prostate massage: both health and pleasure. Urologists use prostate massage to help with certain prostate conditions, and the research is catching up on how much it helps and for whom, but here's what prostate massage can help with:
- Helps with prostatitis: Prostatitis is inflammation of the prostate, and it causes pain around the groin and pelvis, and potentially pain during urination or ejaculation. When your prostatic ducts get blocked, fluid backs up and the prostate swells. Prostate massage helps flush the backed-up fluid out and takes the pressure off. One study found regular massage eased symptoms in men with chronic prostatitis.
- Enhance ejaculation: Your prostate plays a direct role in ejaculation. Semen travels through your urethra, but when your prostate is inflamed or enlarged, it can restrict your urethra tube, and studies confirm this can cause ejaculation to feel painful, weak, or incomplete. Prostate massage can help by clearing the backed-up fluid and easing that pressure contributing to prostatitis. It can also help with trouble finishing or delayed ejaculation by providing direct stimulation to the prostate, which triggers the ejaculatory reflex.
- Helps with urine flow: A swollen prostate can squeeze that urethra tube from all sides, causing or contributing to urinary issues, frequency issues, or issues emptying completely. Prostate massage can help release the fluid and reduce the swelling of the prostate and pressure on the urethra. One pilot study found that prostate massage with a prostate massager helped men with their urinary symptoms.
- Supports stronger erections: Prostate trouble and erection trouble travel together. One study of over 20,000 men found erectile dysfunction in roughly 30% of those with long-term prostate pain. Which is why it’s not surprising that a small study found that men with chronic prostate pain who used a prostate massager reported improved erections.
- Experience a prostate orgasm: Your prostate sits inside a thick web of nerves that also feeds your penis, so stimulating it can produce an orgasm called a prostate orgasm. One study describes these orgasms as more intense and full-body than orgasm from penile stimulation.
- Improves arousal: Your prostate is an erogenous zone, same as your penis, and stimulating it builds arousal the way stimulating any erogenous zone does. If you've only ever approached arousal from the front, this is an entirely new way in.
How to do a prostate massage
Prostate massage, also known as prostate milking in some circles, takes some practice, and it's worth going in with a plan. Here's how to massage the prostate, step by step.
1. Prepare your body
You don't need to douche or use an enema – that's optional. If you feel like you need to go to the bathroom, do that. That's the only prep your bowels need. There's no need to be “extra” clean internally for prostate massage unless you want to.
Wash whatever you plan to put inside you: fingers, vibrators, etc., with soap and water. If you or your partner plan to use fingers, it’s good practice to trim and file your nails.
Lubricant is a must. The anus is not self-lubricating, so lubricant is necessary to avoid potentials tears, friction, and/or pain. There are several types of anal lubricants available; test a few out to see which you prefer: water-based, silicone-based, or oil. Some men even prefer coconut oil as anal lubricant.
Get aroused first
Arousal does two things for you here. Your prostate swells when you're turned on, which makes it larger and easier to find. The outer ring of muscle at your anus relaxes when you're aroused and tightens when you're not, so arousal is what makes entry possible in the first place.
Start with whatever already works for you: fantasize, watch ethical porn, masturbate, massage your perineum, the patch of skin between your scrotum and your anus, circle the outside of your anus with a lubricated finger - without penetrating.
Take longer in the arousal phase than feels necessary. Rushing this step is the most common reason prostate massage might be uncomfortable.
3. Choose a position that gives you access
The right position is a matter of preference, but there is no right or wrong. Any position will work as long as you can reach without straining. Here are four popular positions:
- On your back with your knees pulled up: The easiest for reaching yourself, and the easiest to relax into.
- On your side with your top knee bent up toward your chest: The least effort to hold, so it's the best option for a longer session.
- On all fours: Gives you the deepest reach, and the best access if a partner is helping.
- Squatting: The shortest distance to travel, though harder to hold for long.
One thing to test: if you are using your fingers, explore with reaching behind you versus reaching between your legs, as your reach changes which direction your finger has to curl. You might find one easier or preferable to the other.
4. Insert one finger slowly
Start slow and small with one finger or a slim anal dildo or prostate vibrator. Coat your finger and your anus generously with lubricant. Rest your fingertip at the opening and hold it there for a few seconds, without pushing, until you feel the outer sphincter relax. Breathe out as you go in, since that's when the muscle naturally releases. You don't want to force anything.
Insert a finger or item about two inches in, aiming toward the front of your body. Try using the pad of your finger rather than your fingertip.
Reapply lubricant as you go, it dries out faster than you'd expect, and dryness is where friction and tears can happen.
5. Massage the prostate
Once you're comfortable with penetration, aroused, and have located your prostate, then you can explore different massage techniques.
Three techniques worth trying:
- The come-hither curl: Slightly curl your finger toward your belly button, against the front wall and massage back and forth. The same motion used on the G-spot.
- Small circles: Massage the prostate with slow, steady circles using your fingertips. Use caution not to apply too much pressure too quickly as the prostate is very sensitive.
- Side to side: Sweep across the width of the prostate rather than up and down it.
Start light and build. Your prostate is sensitive, and firm pressure that feels good after a few sessions can be uncomfortable in your first.
Don’t ignore your penis! You can stroke your penis aka masturbate at the same time to help your body adjust to the new sensation of anal penetration.
A prostate massager or vibrator like the ultra-slim, beginner friendly Molto makes all of this easier. It reaches further than your finger, bends at the angle like a finger, holds steady pressure without tiring, and vibration adds a kind of stimulation a finger can't produce.
6. Cleaning up afterwards
Clean-up is just as important as prep. Wash your hands, fluids, and anything you used internally with anti-bacterial soap and warm water before it touches anywhere or anyone else.
If you used a vibrator, clean your vibrator, and make sure you leave it out to dry completely before putting it away, so it doesn’t grow or harbor bacteria on the material.
The non-penetrative alternative
You can stimulate your prostate without penetrating at all through the perineum. The perineum is that small patch of skin between the anus and scrotum.
To stimulate your prostate indirectly through your perineum, use a finger to press up and inward on your perineum. You can alternate techniques like pressing and holding, tapping your perineum, or massaging back and forth gently. Try them all to see which you prefer.
A vibrator held against the perineum can also indirectly stimulate the prostate. Any vibrator will do – a wand, a prostate massager used on the outside, or a wearable vibrator like Tenuto 2. This vibrator is great for men because you can use it in combination with internal prostate massagers and get external prostate and penile stimulation at the same time.
What's normal and what isn't
Feeling like you need to urinate is normal and often passes. Feeling the need to defecate is also a normal sensation for some men. Both sensations come from pressure on your bladder and rectum, and both take some getting used to.
Prostate massage also takes practice. Plenty of men feel nothing but pressure the first few times before anything else registers, and that's not a sign you're doing it wrong.
If you have an active or acute infection of the prostate, it is not recommended to massage the prostate without consulting a doctor.
If at any point you feel sharp pain, stop. If you see blood, stop and schedule a follow-up with a doctor as soon as possible. A little blood could be from a small tear from your fingernail, but since the anus is such a sensitive area, it’s always best to err on the side of caution. Remember – doctors have seen and heard it all before.

What is the best tool for prostate massage?
If you prefer not to do the awkward reach around with your own fingers to massage your prostate, there are many prostate and anal tools specifically designed to do it for you. Here's what's available:
Prostate massagers and vibrators
Prostate massagers are a favorite for prostate massage. They're typically curved or angled, or large, so they press against your prostate. And they vibrate – which provides new and arousing sensations to the experience in a way your finger can’t.
What to look for in a prostate massager:
- A flared base: This one is non-negotiable. Unlike the vagina, the rectum has no end point, and the muscles can pull an object further in. A base wider than the rest of the massager is what stops that from happening – and an unwanted hospital visit.
- Body-safe silicone: Jelly, PVC and rubber are porous, so they hold on to bacteria that soap can't completely clean. Body-safe silicone is non-porous and can be cleaned completely.
- Bendable or curved: Every man's prostate sits at a slightly different angle. A prostate massager that is curved or can bend and work with the shape of your body will provide a more customized experience.
Most prostate massagers on the market rely on girth to stimulate the prostate, but if you’re new to prostate massage or not a fan of that “full” sensation, try a slim, smaller prostate vibrator like Molto.
Molto is only one finger wide and bends, so you can angle it to target your prostate. It was designed by urologists to mimic the prostate massage technique they use in a clinical setting. It's FDA-registered, made with body-safe silicone, and is eligible with FSA/HSA funds, too.
Vibrating wands and external vibrators
If you prefer external stimulation of the prostate through the perineum, there are different types of vibrators that provide different types of stimulation.
- Wand vibrators: Any vibrator pressed into your perineum reaches the prostate through the skin, so you get stimulation without anything going in. A wand gives you deep vibration that carries into the tissue, though you hold it in place yourself.
- Wearable vibrators: Really one vibrator gets mention here – Tenuto 2. It’s a wearable male vibrator that stimulates the penis but also has a base that sits against the perineum and vibrates, so you get external prostate stimulation without holding anything in place. It also works alongside an internal massager if you want a blended orgasm experience.
A partner
Not a tool, but worth saying: a partner's hand comes in handy (no pun intended) with prostate massage. It will be easier for them to curl their fingers and reach your prostate, and they do the massage for you, so you can just relax and enjoy yourself.
Tips for a healthy prostate
Prostate health matters long before anything starts going wrong, and most of what protects it comes down to habits you already have some control over. Some are lifestyle changes, one is a conversation with your doctor, and none of them are complicated. For more, here are tips for optimal prostate health.
1. Ejaculate regularly
A study of nearly 32,000 men found those ejaculating 21 or more times a month had roughly a 20% lower risk of prostate cancer than men ejaculating 4 to 7 times a month. Whether this is from partnered sex or masturbation, it counts the same. The thinking is that regular ejaculation keeps prostate fluid moving instead of sitting and stagnating, the same reasoning behind why prostate massage is effective.
2. Try Kegels (yes, men can do them too)
Your prostate sits on top of your pelvic floor, and those muscles control your urine stream and contract when you ejaculate. If you want a detailed step by step, this is everything you need to know about how to do Kegels for men.
3. Eat your fruits & vegetables
Consuming more fruit and vegetables, especially cooked tomatoes and cruciferous vegetables like broccoli and cabbage, can benefit your prostate. Try eating more healthy fats from olive oil, nuts, and oily fish. Eat less processed and red meat, which one study linked to a higher risk of advanced prostate cancer.
4. Exercise 30 minutes a day
Exercise lowers inflammation, helps keep weight off, and regulates the hormones that influence prostate growth, which is why it turns up in nearly every set of prostate recommendations. The Harvard School of Public Health points to 30 minutes of moderate exercise on most days as a way to lower your risk.
5. Get screened for prostate cancer
The American Cancer Society says to talk to your doctor about prostate cancer screening from 50, or from 45 if you have a family member who was diagnosed young. Go sooner if you notice any issues like weak urine stream, trouble starting or stopping, needing to go far more at night, pain when you pee or ejaculate, or blood in your urine or semen.

What does prostate massage actually feel like?
That's the one question this article can't answer for you, but you now have everything you need to find out for yourself.
You know where your prostate is, how to massage it, what to expect along the way, and even which prostate vibrators are recommended to help.
Molto is where most beginners start. Doctor-designed, one finger wide, and bendable enough to reach your prostate at any angle, so you can experience what some men describe as a deep, full-body build that's completely different from anything they've felt before.
