Anal play encompasses plenty of different ass-centric sexual activities such as rimming and prostate massage. It is important before you dive into anal play to learn a little more about it. The great thing about butt holes is everyone’s got one, and for everyone, there is the potential to unlock a potent pleasure zone.
Add this knowledge into your sexual repertoire for when you are ready to give your ass the attention it deserves. And by keeping these anal sex tips in mind your exploration into the unknown will be one of many.
1. Lube is your best friend
This is number one for a reason, and if you didn’t know how important lube is to any type of anal play you will now. You can do some serious damage if you don’t take lubrication seriously as unlike the vagina the anus does not self lubricate. Lube not only moistens the area to allow stretching of the skin so you can insert sex toys, fingers, or a penis but it also enhances sensations for slippery pleasure.
Without liberal application of lubrication, the delicate anus tissue is at risk of damage. Whether you are enjoying rimming, fingering, prostate massage, or penetration with a penis or dildo, it is important to apply, apply, apply. Now the type of lube you should try depends on your personal taste, desires, and what kinds of ways you enjoy playing so here is the rundown.
- Thick and long-lasting
- Not suitable with some condoms, dental dams, or silicone sex toys
- Feel very natural
- Easy cleanup
- Safe to use with condoms, dental dams, and sex toys
- Dries out quickly
Hybrid anal lube
- Easy cleanup
- Not safe to use with silicone sex toys
2. Use sex toys that are made for anal
Anal play can be an amazing way to stimulate all your nerve endings, and the perfect way to give powerful stimulation is by using anal sex toys. Before you get to exploring your P-spot or A-spot you need to ensure what you are putting into your butt is suitable. Not everything you put into a vagina is suitable for anal play as the vagina has a dead-end at the cervix whilst your anus does not, which means something could get lost up there.
To avoid any accidents make sure any anal toy has an anchor outside of the body such as a harness or flared base (this could be a large ring, suction cup or any base) which reduces any chance of over-insertion. However, if anything does go wrong during your anal exploration it is important not to panic and go to the emergency room immediately, as the longer it remains in the body the higher the risk.
Crescendo’s slim design and bendability make anal play smooth and indulging. As you bend Crescendo to anchor the sex toy outside of your body, you can feel all 6 motors stimulating every inch for the P-spot orgasms like never before.
3. Start small
Going straight for anal sex can be a recipe for unprepared disaster. Your anus needs to get used to the sensations gradually so start small, like a single finger, and work your way up. Or if you don’t want to try penetration with your fingers use a slim anal sex toy to explore.
4. Experiment on your own
Test drive your anal play. Solo anal play can be a great chance to experiment, learn what you like and appreciate all those sensations without the pressure of someone else there. This could involve light pressure of your finger or using an anal massager, whatever you feel most comfortable with and enjoy most. Then when you are ready you can take what you have learned and share this with your partner.
5. Clean up
Minimize the risk of any mess by making sure you prepare for anal sex with a thorough clean beforehand, after all, something is going in your bum. A quick shower will suffice or go to the bathroom 30 - 60 minutes before anal sex. Empty your bowels and wash the anal area with regular soap and warm water. Or use unscented, hypoallergenic baby wipes as an alternative as for many this clean-up is enough. There is no need to use an enema - however if this makes you feel more comfortable then ensure you do it safely.
6. If it feels uncomfortable stop
It is not normal for anal play or sex to hurt no matter what you’ve heard or porn depictions might suggest. If anal sex is painful something is wrong. Perhaps your body isn’t thoroughly warmed up enough, you haven’t done any anal training, you aren’t using enough lubrication or it is just not for you. If you don’t like the sensations that’s ok! Not everyone is going to enjoy everything - so if it doesn’t float your boat, find something that does, and don’t put pressure on yourself to enjoy it if you don’t.
7. Stimulate around the opening
Whether you have a prostate or not, anal orgasms are very real and achievable when exploring anal play, whether that be rimming, penetration, or just a prostate massage. You don’t always need penetration to orgasm. Some people can orgasm from their erogenous zones alone, so by teasing the anal opening and focusing upon every sensation, you might land yourself in the O-Zone.
8. Play with the clit
We have two hands for a reason, and for people with vulvas, anal penetration can stimulate the G-spot through the shared wall, resulting in some very pleasurable sensations. Multiply sensations by playing with your partner’s clitoris. With over 36% of women needing clitoral stimulation to orgasm, it seems silly not to seize the opportunity to play with all those nerve endings.
9. Go slow
If you’re new to anal sex or even if you’ve been doing it for a while, it may not be the most appropriate for a quickie - there is preparation to be done and especially when you first begin playing anally it helps to take it sloooooow to really enjoy it. So ensure you give yourself enough time - maybe make it part of a date night rather than rushing it in your lunch break.
10. Never move from ass to vaginal or oral
Once you have put a finger, anal toy or penis in your anus do not put it anywhere else. If you do this can result in the transfer of bowel germs from the rectum into places they shouldn’t be, potentially making both you and your partner ill. The types of infections this can result in are bacterial vaginosis, yeast infections, and UTIs - very much the same reason you wipe front to back. So whether it is an anal sex toy, fingers or penis do not switch from ass to anywhere else without thoroughly washing.
11. Mental preparation
Mental preparation is just as important as physical preparation when it comes to anal sex. You might worry about the hygiene side of things for example which is completely normal. If your mind is preoccupied then spend time connecting with your partner to help ease your mind. If you are feeling anxiety about anal play, especially around sexual performance, your body may seize up causing your sphincter to tighten and making anal play more difficult and less enjoyable.
Instead, try doing all the things that make you feel relaxed. This could be a sensual massage, watching a movie or a sex game. Set the mood and ease yourself into it for your most enjoyable experience.
12. Have a safe word
When you are trying something new or engaging in any potentially uncomfortable sexual activity it is important to have an established safe word with your partner. This can be anything that is an indicator to stop or slow down because you no longer want to do what you are doing, feel uncomfortable, or are in pain. By having a pre-set safe word you will feel more comfortable in telling your partner to stop as it is an agreed-upon word.
13. Don’t compare yourself
Comparing what happens between you and your partner to mainstream porn is a particularly bad idea because those scenes involve a lengthy and unpleasant preparation routine. And the people in porn are paid actors/actresses - so it can be a very different representation with money shots and objectification. If you want to watch porn that is a truer representation of the real deal then check out more ethical porn, which depicts real sex and real orgasms.
14. Don’t be scared about a little mess
When you are playing with a zone that is responsible for your poo there might be a little mess, but this is normal and quite frankly to be expected. The more comfortable you feel about a little mess, the less shocked and uncomfortable you will be if it does happen. Some people even feel like they might poo when they are doing it due to the new sensations, but this is rarely the case so try to focus on the pleasure and relaxing and not worry about it too much.
These tips should have you well on your way to having good anal sex - enjoy your adventure into the world of butt play!