Shower sex can be an ideal way to supercharge your sex life, whether you’re solo or with a partner (or two, this is a judgment-free space). However, if you’ve ever attempted sex in the shower, then you are most likely acquainted with the ‘logistic’ challenges it presents.
Sex in the shower has become Hollywood’s go-to cliché to represent sensual, passionate sex. And sure, the feeling of hot water cascading down glistening, entangled skin is “steamy” imagery enough, but how much of shower sex is fantasy or the work of movie magic? After all, how many mishaps or pruned fingers have you witnessed on the silver screen?
The reality is that shower sex is one aquatic activity that requires some preparation and forethought. Before you get drenched with sultry, soapy suds, take a moment to read the essential dos’ and don’ts of having shower sex. (You’ll be grateful you took the time to prepare.)
Who is having all this shower sex?!
Hopefully you after reading this article! Shower sex is a great option for couples and couples with a family. If you or your partner have children, chances are you have limited time and privacy to get intimate without interruption. The bathroom is one place where privacy is unanimously respected (well, at least for anyone who’s potty-trained). The bathroom presents the perfect opportunity for parents to multi-task and indulge in an intimate foray while also getting clean. Shower sex is also excellent for childfree couples to add diversity to their sex lives. After all, novelty increases desire and excitement.
Single people can benefit from TLC time in the shower too. If you’re trying to become more diligent about improving sexual wellness, showering or bathing is time already designated, so it’s an opportunity to masturbate while being productive. It’s a win-win. Take your shower time to indulge in self-care, from caressing your own body to exploring how hot water, steam, and sex toys arouse you.
If you suffer from endometriosis, the hot water from the shower can have therapeutic benefits of relaxing your muscles, helping ease penetration.
Shower sex is also an ingenious way to be intimate during menstruation without prep and clean-up hassle. Have your fun first, and then let the warm water wash you clean. Who said you can’t have your cake and eat it too?
The Surprising Risks of Shower Sex
Shower sex seems innocuous enough, but it can be a slippery slope for safety. A wet floor is always a slip-hazard, even the shower. With all that running water mixed with passions running wild, one misstep could result in injuring yourself or your partner, including falling, getting a concussion, bruises, fractured bones, or even a fractured penis (yes, that’s a thing). It’s important to be informed of the hazards and take preventative precautions when engaging in shower sex because a visit to the ER is an unfortunate turn of events.
First things first, running water makes the entire shower and your skin slippery and harder to hold onto, which can make sexual positions, even basic ones, challenging. On that note, running water can also wash away your body’s natural lubrication, increasing the risk of irritation, dryness, and uncomfortable friction on all genitals. You may be tempted in the heat of the moment to use whatever lubricant alternative is available, like body wash or soap. Use caution when using products not intended for internal use.
Most products designed for external use are not intended for internal use. Depending on the products’ ingredients, body wash or soap may cause irritation, rash, redness, or even a bacterial infection, especially if you are already prone to sensitivity. This is especially true for vulva-owners as chemical additives can affect the healthy balance of bacteria and pH levels of the vagina and cause infection or irritation.
Water from the shower may also make using condoms and other protective barriers trickery. Condoms are still recommended for aquatic sexual activities because you can still contract and spread STIs and STDs in water. While most condoms are designed to be used in water, getting them to stay on is a whole different story, and not all condoms are compatible with all lubricant types. Certain lubricants will degrade the integrity of the condom, material, increasing the likelihood of getting pregnant or acquiring sexually transmitted diseases.
How do you prepare for shower sex?
The key to having successful and safe sex in the shower is to prepare. Here are some tips to help you become a shower sex pro:
Upgrade your bathroom into a “shower-sex friendly “space
Invest in a good-quality rubber anti-slip mat that you can put either on the shower floor or in the bathtub if you have one. Anti-slip shower mats provide traction for your feet, which helps avoid possible slip and fall during sex. More stability and balance make it easier to perform sexual acts as you’re not distracted thinking about your precarious footing.
Consider installing sturdy bars, handles, footrests, suction rails, and even a shower chair or shower stool to help you maintain balance in different sex positions.
It’s good practice to make sure your bathroom is clean and well-sanitized before having shower sex to avoid encountering germs and bacteria. If any sex position requires you to sit on the floor or hold onto the walls, you want to make sure unwanted bacteria isn’t transferring from surface to skin or genitals.
It’s all about the lube!
Water is not a sufficient substitute for lubricant. If you want this nautical sport to be a pleasurable experience, consider investing in a quality lubricant that will make any play or penetration that much more comfortable. Lubricant reduces friction and pressure and can create a silky, smooth texture that eases penetration and adds to sexual sensations.
Silicone-based lubricants are recommended for those who enjoy longer sex sessions with their partners or themselves. Silicone-based lubricant is thicker and more viscous than water-based lube, meaning silicone can withstand more friction and requires less re-application. Silicone doesn’t come off as easily as a water-based lubricant, so it’s ideal for sexual activity in the bath or shower. Silicone-based lubes are also compatible with latex condoms.
Oil-based lubricants are also an option for shower sex as they are waterproof and thicker than silicone lubes. Though they are known to degrade the protective coating of latex condoms, rendering them ineffective.
Both silicone-based lubes and oil-based lubes may cause skin irritation or disrupt the natural pH of the vagina.
Choose your positions wisely
You may not realize it (yet), but certain shower sex positions are more challenging to do in the shower than out, and great shower sex does not require you to be a contortionist. It’s not recommended (and unnecessary) to begin your acrobatic career inside the shower.
If you’re just getting started with shower sex, a great rule to abide by is to keep three feet planted on the floor, meaning only one foot is airborne in a partnered situation. If playing solo, use your best judgment. Not everyone can emulate the graceful one-legged flamingo pose, and that’s okay.
Maintain your fitness levels
Sex is a physical activity, and like any physical activity, it can be tiring. Shower sex specifically can feel like a workout. There could be a good deal of bracing, holding your partner up, or engaging your core for stability, which can be exhausting if you aren’t used to that amount of effort. It’s a good idea to stay active so you can confidently maneuver in the confines of a shower.
Try doing some warm-up exercises or stretches before shower sex. This applies to solo shower sex too. Some warm-up stretching can prepare your body for physical activity and minimize aches or strains during the act.
Pre-game and Post-game in the bedroom
While things can get hot and heavy in the shower, it doesn’t have to start or end in the shower. We’ve established that water can make things tricky, especially in the vaginal lubrication department, so why not initiate foreplay in the bedroom, and once you’re warmed up, move activities to the shower.
Fooling around in the shower, regardless of if orgasm is reached, is still a good time. It doesn’t detract from the experience if you decide to finish in the bedroom.
Less time spent in water minimizes the chances of pruned fingers or getting light-headed from physical exertion and hot water.
Energy, energy, energy!
What makes shower sex genuinely sexy is the energy, and we create that, not the environment. When you’re in the shower, slow down and take the time to really set the mood. Eroticism doesn’t do well under pressure or time restrictions, so allow yourself to be fully present and make the most of your time together or solo. Wash each other’s bodies, lather each other’s hair, massage your partner or yourself. You may be surprised to find that the simple act of cleaning each other can be highly erotic and give a newfound appreciation for your partner’s body.
Fill the (Orgasm) Gap with Sex Toys
Sex toys and vibrators have a high success rate in closing the orgasm gap and orgasm in general, and the shower is the perfect occasion to explore different sex toys. Using vibrators during solo or partnered sex can help you and your partner discover new erogenous zones.
Pro Tip: It’s recommended to use non-porous, waterproof, or showerproof sex toys.
Waterproof sex toys can be completely submerged in water. On the other hand, splash-proof or showerproof sex toys can get wet but not fully immersed in water. It’s recommended to use any sex toy or vibrator in the way the manufacturer intended it, so read the labels and user manuals first.
Sex toys made of non-porous materials like stainless steel and glass are water-resistant, so they won’t cause bacteria growth, but they may be more prone to slip from your hand and shatter or damage your bathroom floor.
Medical-grade silicone sex toys are also a non-porous material that is not nearly as slippery to handle, making it ideal for a shower sex toy. Be mindful of lubricant compatibility as not all silicone-based lubricants work with every silicone vibrator or sex toy. Make sure to always read the manufacturer’s labels before use.
The Best Shower Sex Positions
Some of the most pleasurable shower sex positions are simplistic. There is no shame in positions that are easier to maintain balance, like sitting on a shower stool or holding onto a handle. Take your time and refrain from rushing into any position or transition. Safety should be your priority over pleasure.
Lotus is a couple’s favorite sex position. This position is when one partner sits cross-legged, and the other partner sits on their lap or straddles them. That shower chair investment has never paid off more than during this highly intimate position. Alternatively, you can sit on the bathtub or shower floor, if there is enough space and you feel comfortable with that.
Standing Doggy – A shower-friendly adaption of the classic doggy style. One partner faces a wall and leans or bends forward, bracing their hands or forearms on the wall for support while the other partner "assumes the position" behind them. This position allows all feet to remain firmly planted, and the wall provides counter-support to your partner's thrusts.
Three-Legged Doggy – A variation on Standing Doggy where one partner bends or leans forward, bracing themselves against a wall for support, and props one leg up on anything sturdy, like the bathtub rim or the soap holder. One leg up allows more access to the penetrating partner and better stimulation for the receiving partner. If you’re feeling flexible, try wrapping one leg behind you on your partner’s hip.
Duet with the Soap Holder - For the solo shower sex players, get resourceful and use the soap holder (barring it’s sturdy and securely adhered to the wall) to prop your foot up to allow better access to your genitals. Alternatively, the bathtub rim can work just as well as the soap holder. Be mindful of your foot slipping and the amount of pressure you’re applying. See, that rubber bathmat investment is a skull savior (literally).
Remember that shower sex is an experience, and any sexual experience can be awkward, messy, and incredibly erotic at the same time. Lean into the experience, whatever it may be, and have fun. As they say, practice makes perfect. If you don’t get it right the first time, you can always try again. Can you think of a more pleasurable practice?