Sex might not be the foundation your relationship is built upon, but it's an important cornerstone. Couples who are in a committed, happy, long-term relationship agree that sex is critical. Regular sex increases the bond you share with your partner, improves communication, and makes you happier.
Even if you aren't in a serious relationship but simply enjoying the fun associated with a fling, good sex is important for both your mental and physical health.
Women who regularly engage in good sex are more self-confident, sleep better, have a healthier immune system, experience less cramping during their period, and are better able to deal with stressful situations. People who have sex at least twice a week have higher levels of immunoglobulin A (IgA) in their system than individuals who aren't as sexually active. Another study indicated that men who consistently climax at least 21 times a month reduce their risk of developing prostate cancer later in life.
Considering the importance of sex, it makes sense to take your time when you have time and make sex last longer.
Why It's Important to Take Your Time for Longer Lasting Sex
Time is a valuable commodity. Considering how crazy and busy life gets, it's often difficult to add more than a few minutes to get down and have fun with your partner. While there's nothing fundamentally wrong with "quickies" and sometimes they can even be fun, they shouldn't be the norm. It's in your best interest to make an effort to enjoy longer-lasting sex whenever your schedule permits. Dr. Ruth, famed sex expert, feels that there is a time and place for quickie sex but is also quick to point out that it shouldn't be the norm.
"You don't need to have a quickie every time you have sex, just from time to time," Dr. Ruth advises. "Make sure you vary the experience, make it always like a bit of a surprise … this works very well for sexual satisfaction."-People.com
Curious about the pros and cons regarding quickies and longer-lasting sex, the Society for Sex Therapy and Research put together a study that took a long look at couples who made an effort to extend their sexual encounters.
Researchers selected 500 different couples and were careful to make sure that several cultures were represented. After observing the average length of each couple's sexual encounter during four weeks, researchers concluded that the average length of time couples engaged in vaginal sex was 5.4 minutes. That sounds like a long time until you consider that many sex experts suggest that the happiest couples are those who last seven to thirteen minutes.
Couples who consistently enjoy longer-lasting sex experience a stronger and deeper sense of intimacy which improves their sense of happiness with the relationship. They also report that the longer-lasting sex sessions ultimately leads to a significantly more satisfying climax.
Resolving to take time when you have time is a great way to make sure that this is the year that you consistently enjoy a better sex life. Here are some tips that will help you extend your lovemaking.
Tips to Help the Ladies Make Sex Last Longer
We've all had the night out with our girlfriends were we spend the bulk of the evening talking about how we found the perfect guy. He's got a great personality, likes to laugh, cooks, and more. There's just one problem. While he's good in bed, you can't help wishing there was a way that the two of you could enjoy longer-lasting sex.
Good news. There is.
Make Time for Longer Lasting Sex
We live in a fast-paced world. As much as we enjoy sex, it's hard to relax and really enjoy ourselves when we're always thinking about everything else we need to accomplish. Jam-packed schedules are one of the main reasons couples get hooked on quickies.
Sit down with your partner and find a nice block of time in both of your schedules and make that all about sex. Give yourself a few hours when all you're going to do is enjoy the ride. Once you make this a monthly, bi-weekly, or even weekly affair, you'll be amazed by how much it improves your relationship.
Develop Realistic Expectations
Romance novels always have scenes where the couple falls into the bed and spends the entire night engaged in a marathon session in bed. These all-night sex sessions are as unrealistic as the fact that neither of the main characters works or have any real concerns about money. The scenes make for great reading, but they also cause us to develop unrealistic ideals.
While it's perfectly reasonable to hope for an all-night cuddle session, there is no way your man, or you for that matter, is physically capable of the kind of all-night sex session romance characters indulge in. When you have the time to make sex last longer, you need to set realistic expectations. Instead of dreaming about going at it all night long, realize that the longest you can expect to make things last is about an hour. And if you're the type of person who thinks sex starts with penetration, you'll have to count down the time in minutes, not hours.
Hit the Gym
Getting stronger and improving your overall physical stamina is a great way to make sex last longer. This doesn't mean you have to start training for a five-minute mile. Set aside a few minutes a day and do some simple exercises that improve your overall fitness. Look for ways you and your partner can turn workouts into foreplay.
Exercises that help build your pelvic floor and improve sexual stamina include:
Test Drive Some New Positions and New Toys
If you take a hard look at your current sex life, you'll likely find that you have a few positions you stick to. Having time to make sex last longer is a great opportunity to shake things up and try some new positions. Test-driving new sex positions and adding some new items to your grown-up toybox helps you and your partner discover new erogenous zones, increase penetration, and make some fun, long-lasting memories.
Don't assume that vibrators are something just for solo female masturbation. Setting a vibrator like, Crescendo or Poco, on a low intensity and gently touching the tip to your man's perineum is a great way to turn him on before, after, and during penetration. Having him move Crescendo over your nipples, clitoris, and even the back of your knees is an excellent way to send you to the edge of an orgasm. Consider Poco when you want to get creative with a vibrator when you're far away from your bedroom. Its smaller, compact size will provide you hundreds of hours worth of sexy fun "on the go"!
Stuck for ideas? Check out Mysteryvibe's Playbook which is full of great suggestions that will encourage both of you to get creative. You'll have a great time trying each position.
In addition to helping the sex last longer, the new positions and sex toys can make your relationship feel new and a little naughty again. Make sure you and your partner are on the same page about which things you want to try and discuss if it's something you want to try again.
Once you're committed to making sex last longer, you'll want to stock up on plenty of lube. Not only will you and your partner have a great time exploring different ways you can use the lube to heighten sensation, but you'll also remain comfortable during your sexual marathons.
Tips for Guys Who Wish to Make Sex Last Longer
Committing yourself to improving your sexual performance and making the sex last longer is one of the best ways to impress your partner and drive home the fact that you're a real stud. This isn't a complicated process and it just takes a little effort on your part.
Stop Thinking that Sex Starts and Stops with Penetration
We've fallen into the habit of thinking that sex is all about penetration. While that's certainly an important aspect, it's not the entire symphony. There's a great deal more to the act.
Logan Levkoff, a relationship and sexuality educator feels broadening your idea of sex will help extend both yours and your partner's pleasure.
"Sex shouldn't simply be about something being in someone else's body for a particular period of time," Levkoff said in a recent article posted in Glamour Magazine.
Instead of seeing how quickly you can reach penetration and orgasm, mix up your routine and explore different positions, locations, and approaches. Challenge yourself and your partner to discover just how long you can make the foreplay last. You'll be surprised, both by how long this extends each sexual encounter, but also by how much more pleasure you get from the extended sessions.
Masturbation Helps Sex Last Longer
It might sound contradictory, but when you are planning a round of extended lovemaking, masturbating before can help. It eases some physical pressure, allowing you to focus on other things. Talk to your partner and explore ways to incorporate masturbation into your marathon sex session. It provides you with an excellent opportunity to learn something new about your partner while also creating memories and improving sexual intimacy. Masturbating to extend sex is called edging.
Shake Things Up With a Wearable Vibrator
If you've never experimented with a vibrator for the penis, it's time to try the Tenuto, the wearable vibrator for men. It's designed to fits comfortably around your penis. It helps increase blood flow, extends the length of time you remain erect, and increases the amount of pleasure you get from sex.
Don't Forget About Foreplay . . . and Postplay
The single best way to enjoy longer-lasting sex is to improve your foreplay technique. Long kisses, sexy pets, dirty talk, etc. heightens arousal and improves the overall sexual experience for both of you. Remember how exciting things were when sex was off the table and all you did was mess around and make out. When you have time to make the sex last longer, pull out your old make out routine and relearn exactly what it takes to make your partner all hot and bothered.
Just because you've climaxed, it doesn't mean the sex has to end. Keep it going with sexy pillow talk, a long slow examination of your partner's body that's designed to get the blood pumping again, and join your partner is a post-coitus shower. The better you get at fore and post play, the happier you and your partner will be.