Your Guide To Mutual Masturbation

Consider this your guide to mutual masturbation including masturbation tips, positions, and how to bring it up to your partner.

Published Aug 02 2021 7 min read

Far too often thinking about masturbation conjures up the image of solo sex, but masturbation doesn’t have to be reserved for alone time. It can be a wonderful way to explore and communicate your wants with your partner as you enjoy a masturbation session together. 

They have the pleasure of watching you give yourself some self-love and (if you want) achieve orgasm, which can be a very intimate way to share self-exploration. It can be a great learning tool for both of you as you discover which spots ramp up the pleasure dial and which erogenous zones are not so hot. Mutual masturbation is also a great way to get intimate when penetration or oral sex isn’t on the cards. Consider this your guide to mutual masturbation including masturbation tips, positions, and how to bring it up to your partner.

  • What is mutual masturbation?
  • Why you should try mutual masturbation?
  • How to talk about mutual masturbation?
  • Mutual masturbation tips

    What is mutual masturbation?

    Mutual masturbation is the act of two (or more) people touching themselves in all the right ways simultaneously. With research suggesting that over 95% of men and 89% of women masturbate, chances are you and your significant others enjoy solo sex. So why not take your solo pleasure in a different direction?

    You might be left wondering why anyone would engage in mutual masturbation when they could have penetrative sex, but mutual masturbation has a whole host of unique benefits. 


    Why you should try mutual masturbation

    There are plenty of reasons to let your partner watch you masturbate. For starters, you might not always want to have penetrative sex or oral, you might want to explore a different sexual activity and explore your bodies. Teasing your partner as they watch you and showing your partner what you like are also great benefits to mutual masturbation.

    Another reason mutual masturbation might be great for you is you don’t have to be in the same room to get intimate which makes mutual masturbation perfect for those in a long-distance relationship. Just prop up your phone on facetime or skype and enjoy the view. Not to mention there are plenty of masturbation facts about the health and pleasure benefits of self-love. A few other reasons that you may want to let your partner watch you masturbate are to:

    Change up your routine

    Sometimes we have a narrow perception of pleasure and sex - starting with digital penetration and ending in orgasm. But your routine might need some mixing up. Penetration isn’t the be-all and end-all. Let foreplay become coreplay and focus on other forms of intimacy to sexually connect with your partner.

    Compromise for when your libidos don’t match up

    Libidos ebb and flow and sometimes your sex drive may not perfectly match up. Mutual masturbation is a great way to enjoy sexual release whilst keeping things casual and low maintenance. 

    Show your partner what feels good

    For a visual learner, seeing your partner get off could help you learn new techniques on how to pleasure them. Showing your partner how to pleasure yourself could be a wise decision in the long run, as they have a deeper understanding of what feels good, the way you lightly touch your clit or when to turn the intensity up on your favorite vibrator.

    Lower STI risk 

    Only touching yourself during mutual masturbation means there is a lowered risk of STI transmission because bodily fluids probably won’t be transferred. However, if you are receiving a helping hand remember you can still transmit STIs through sex toys and other means even if you aren’t having penetrative sex. 

    Improved mood

    Sex has numerous health benefits including boosting your feel-good hormones. The rush of endorphins occurs when you reach orgasm and mutual masturbation can do the same! 

    Easier to orgasm

    Orgasms can be slightly harder to achieve when you aren’t doing it yourself. Sharing the moment, whereby you give yourself a powerful orgasm, can be a great way to connect and for you to enjoy yourself. Plus you might want to use this as a starting point for introducing sex toys into your partnered sex life. Your partner gets to see how a sex toy in action enhances your pleasure and potentially joins in by using it on you.


    How to talk about mutual masturbation

    You might feel apprehensive about bringing up a new erotic activity to your partner but as ever it is important to discuss and engage in an open and honest conversation. Opening lines of communication will help you both achieve a better sex life and discussing your kinks and desires will only bring you closer. 

    Begin by focusing on the benefits of masturbating in front of each other. Is it a great way to build emotional intimacy? Can it help your long-distance relationship connect sexually? Or how about helping mismatched libidos? Are you into sex-ploring yourselves? 

    Whatever your motives are, express them to your partner and it may help them understand a little more about what you want. 

    Mutual masturbation tips

    Due to the intimate nature of the activity, it’s not unusual for things to feel awkward during mutual masturbation, whether it’s your first time or your hundredth. Enhance the experience with these helpful tips.

    1. Communicate often

    It’s almost impossible to over-communicate. Speak openly with your partner about your desires, fantasies, and preferences. Sharing your turn-ons and boundaries will guarantee a more satisfying and enjoyable experience together.

    2. Create a sensual environment

    Setting the mood is always a good idea especially if you are trying something new. It helps focus your mind and makes you feel sexy in a situation you might usually find yourself feeling a little awkward about.

    Create a sensual atmosphere with soft lighting, scented candles, and relaxing music. A comfortable and inviting environment can help you both feel more relaxed and open to intimacy. think about soft furnishings, delicious scents and a sexy playlist to listen to. You might even feel like watching porn or listening to audio erotica together, which can help turn you both on. 

    If you are masturbating through a computer or phone your environment needs might be different. Think a fully charged laptop/phone, some good lighting, and an unmuffled speaker. 

    3. Take your time

    Mutual masturbation should be a leisurely and enjoyable experience. Don't rush the process; instead, savor every touch and sensation to make the most of your time together, however long it takes.

    4. Incorporate variety

    Experiment with various techniques, pressures, and rhythms while masturbating. You might discover new ways to pleasure yourself and your partner that you hadn't considered before. If you need some inspiration, check out more positions in MysteryVibe’s playbook 

    5. Engage all your senses

    Incorporate elements of touch, taste, sight, and sound into your mutual masturbation sessions. Try blindfolding yourself or your partner or use warming lubricants to heighten your sensory experiences.

    6. Be patient and understanding

    It's important to remember that mutual masturbation is a journey of exploration and discovery. Be patient with yourself and your partner as you learn more about each other's bodies, preferences, and desires. 

    7. Bring in sex toys

    Using vibrators or other sex toys during mutual masturbation can heighten arousal and pleasure for you and your partner. Experiment with various sex toys in different positions to find the ones that work best for both of you.

    There are endless varieties of mutual masturbation positions that you and your partner can turn into the main event, sexy foreplay, or a slow tease. However, to get your erotic juices flowing, here are a few positions you can try with our award-winning vibrators.  


    Mutual Masturbation Position Solo Rodeo

    Sit opposite your partner and thrust against your chosen sex toy. Bend Crescendo 2 at a 90-degree angle and explore, try bending backward or forwards, changing the angle, and experimenting with different speeds. Remember to listen to your body and what feels good. 

    Mutual Masturbation Super Soaker

    Why limit your pleasure to the bedroom? Shower yourselves with some serious satisfaction as things get hot and steamy for you and your partner. Feel the water cascade over your bodies and let the deep rumbling vibrations hit all your pleasure points.

    Mutual masturbation position poco lone wolf

    Multiply your orgasms with even more Poco sensations, showing your partner exactly how you like it as the vibrations roam over your nipples, across your neck or curve to reach your G-spot. 

    Best Sex Toys Mutual Masturbation Crescendo

    Crescendo 2's bendable design makes it perfect for some self-exploration with your partner. Designed to mimic your fingers, Crescendo 2 is infinitely flexible so you can bend it to fit your body. Reach, discover and arouse erogenous zones from G-spot to P-spot, as you show your partner exactly how and where you like to be touched and learn new things about your body.



    Best Mutual Masturbation Sex Toy Poco

    Pocket rocket Poco

    Point and go with Poco's compact and discreet design. Pinpointing all those good vibrations exactly where you want them for a more achievable orgasm during masturbation, Poco is perfect for those who enjoy clitoral stimulation for an orgasmic time. 



    Mutual Masturbation Sex Toy Tenuto

    Solo sex supercharger Tenuto 2

    Try incorporating Tenuto 2 into a mutual masturbation session, for new sensations with Tenuto 2's four motors providing 360 stimulation, sending waves of pleasure from penis to perineum. The revolutionary flexible design comfortably adapts to your penis whatever your size. 


    Enhance your mutual masturbation session with MysteryVibe’s range of award-winning pleasure products.

    Have better sex